What you do

speaks so loud

that I cannot hear

what you say.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

How you treat your spouse.

How you take care of yourself.

How you speak to others.

What's important to you.

How you handle stress.

How you cope with hardship.

Who you spend time with.

What you spend your time on.

Your order of priorities.

How you speak of others.

What you value.

What you don't value.

Sunday will never be the same.

Wow.

The title of this post might lead you think
that there's something exciting going on
here at the homestead or that some fabulous news
can be found right here and now in the words to come.
Don't get your little hopes up;
neither of those is the case.
It's a line from a song.
Don't you know me by now?
A song!

Here's some proof
that these songs don't exist only in my head
--and I just have to say
that I don't know how the drummer in this band
could sit there and play the drums and expect anyone
to take him seriously when he's wearing
Hoss Cartwright's hat.
I would guess that it could very well be this drummer's
haberdashery choices that kept
Spanky and her gang from
rocketing into musical stardom.
Stop the juke box now. Then watch this.

I told you last time that I was not going to church today
and I wasn't lying. Baby J and I stayed home with
our germs today. It always feels so weird to me
to not go to church on a Sunday morning.
But I have got to get better
and I didn't want to prolong Baby J's illness.
I didn't think he'd be contagious to the other babes at church,
but I didn't want him to go there and be grumpy and
miserable and all that. I hate to be the nursery worker
and be handed a miserable baby that should just be home
in his bed or in his mother's arms. He needed another
good day of napping and rest under his belt.

So while I was home on this Sunday morning,
I spent too much time looking at stuff on-line;
I took a shower during which not one single person
came to talk to me or ask me a question or
report on the behavior of someone else;
I cleaned up the kitchen
(remember, I was worthless yesterday);
and I fixed lunch.
I made a nice salad and spaghetti and garlic bread.
I didn't make any dessert.
There's always enough junk around this place
without me baking an official piece of junk.

They have threatened us with rain today.
I wish that it were raining, but just the threat and the
gray skies are enough to create that cozy atmosphere
that I love. It's not even hot today.
I put on jeans this morning and was
1) happy to know that it will soon be
jeans and sweater weather and
2) happy to see that the jeans I could barely get into
in the spring are now loose and comfy.

Okay...I'm just going to share another video
with you here since it's Sunday and you and I both
have a little extra time on our hands.
I always loved this song by Spanky and Our Gang
when I was younger. It's called
"I'd Like To Get To Know You"
....but I somehow like it less after seeing this video.
What was that Ed Sullivan thinking?
(and what is the message
on the bottom of the screen to my Asian friends?)
No wonder people were taking drugs and being crazy
when this was a current song.
He's got the band singing to themselves in tuxedos.
And please note that the bad hat choices had begun
to spread through the band at this time. One of the
guitarists is sporting a rather inappropriate chapeau.
But I'll just share it with you and be on my way.
I'd like to get to know you, Dear Reader,
but your ugly hat is coming between us.

A Day Late and a Dollar Short

• I know that it's Friday that I'm supposed to shoot you full of bullets....but it's Saturday night and I'm finally getting around to it. This should tell you something about what the last several days have been like for me.
• I have no idea where that phrase "a day late and dollar short" came from. Maybe it's not even a well-known phrase. Have you ever heard it? This is why I need one of those books that tells you the origin of phrases like that and how words come to be used in a way that was clearly not the original intent. That is absolutely the kind of book that interests me. My cousin gave me a book about the story behind dedications of famous novels; I relished it. I love that kind of thing.
  
• Baby J was sick this week. He cried pretty much all day Thursday. I took him to the doctor. He had an ear infection and, I think, the same thing that I had last week. This is the first time he's been sick and he's eight months old so that's not bad. But he's so very pitiful when sick. I'm glad he's on the mend.
  
• Guess who is having another go-around with last week's illness that she was so fond of? Your faithful Bell, that's who. I felt SO BAD last night. I was just tired all day, and that made sense after being up with the baby in the night, but then it hit me around supper time. It was like something literally hit me--like a truck or something. I went to bed as soon as I put Baby J down. Woke up feeling WORSE this morning and the fever was back. I have just been worthless today. So glad it was Saturday. Also, so very glad that Baby J was the only child under my jurisdiction for most of the day.
  
• I had a awful dream last night and then today, when I napped during Baby J's afternoon nap, I had another horrible dream. I'm not one to do a whole lot of dreaming anyway, but very rarely do I have bad dreams. What's the deal with two in one twenty four hour period? I don't like it.
• Guess what is coming this week? If you let the music play like a nice Dear Reader, you have been given a big hint. September!!! September is coming THIS WEEK. I'm so glad. So very glad. I love the fall (bet you didn't know that!) and I can tell it's on its way but it really helps when you can turn to calendar pages that have leaves and pumpkins on them. "It's the most wonderful time of the year!" (Andy Williams was off by a few months.)
  
• Kind of feel like with my life right now, it's like when you get into a canoe and you have to find your balance. Do you know what I mean? There's a wobble here and there. You've got to wobble to get in and get your feet planted. But then it might take a second for you to get the feel of things. That's what I feel like I'm doing. I have just thought so many times of a phrase from the Bible this week, about how the Lord "gently leads" those who are with young. That speaks volumes to me and I am so thankful for a God who understands and has sympathy for me.
  
• How many times do you think I've been in a canoe in my life? Have we ever discussed your crazy Bell's issues with water? That's like a whole post to itself. Not for today.
• Lloyd Dobbler fixed the the thingy (there I go using technical terms again) that was preventing me from downloading pictures--or is it uploading? I don't know which direction it is. So I have pictures from this summer to show you again. I'll throw one in here and there rather than dump them all on you at once. Here's me and the babes on the porch on July 4th....I think we were headed out the door on our way to church. (for the record: my boys do have shoes. And feel free to admire the inside of my skirt shown in this photo.)
• I've had my hair chopped off since that picture. I like it in some ways. I just don't really like anything about my appearance right now. I see pictures of myself and I'm appalled. I've got to do a number of things...for the sake of my health, my appearance, my sanity....but there's just never time or money for it.....oh well....someday....
• Lovely K got her hair cut since that picture too. She looks so cute. It's the really short bob like she had before. It's just the cutest thing on her. It's like the perfect haircut for her age and for who she is. I don't have a picture of it to show you yet.
• I'm listening to #6 on the juke box right now. I don't know why I love that song, but I do. It's a great house-cleaning song. If only I wear cleaning house right now....
• I already know I'm not going to church tomorrow morning. That's kind of a weird feeling. But Baby J and I are staying home. I've got to get better, got to get over this. I can't do everything I have to do and be Sicky Sickerton. I'd better go take a mouthful of Vitamin C again before Lloyd Dobbler yells at me about that.
• Let's have a good week, Dear Reader. I've got a busy one stretching out before me, but it will be a good one (I hope). Take care. Don't get sick---whatever this is going around is nasty. You don't want it. Go wash your hands right now.
  
• Bang-bang.
  

Snips and snails and puppy dog tails

The last two nights we have had soccer practice.
The last two nights we have sat out on those
peaceful soccer fields with this cool breeze blowing on us.
It's been great.
Baby J has loved it as much as anyone.
This summer has been particularly scorching
and he hasn't got to be outside all that much
--his silly mother doesn't want to watch him
sizzle and shrink up like a strip of bacon.
But we all are loving these nights that are
starting to cool down. I say, Bring it on!
You're going to hear this from me again and again,
but I love the fall.
I love the shortening of the days and the cooler weather
and the frost on the pumpkin and the hay in the barn
and pappy gone to ramblin' on.....oh wait,
now I'm just quoting lyrics.
50 points to everyone who knows what song that was.
Maybe because soccer starts in the fall
and I always associate it with the fall
that my love for that time of year
is transferred onto that sport.



I have this knot in the pit of my stomach.
I got it there yesterday when I received a prayer request
for the son of an old friend of mine, someone I went to
school with from fourth grade on, worked with her as
an adult, our firstborns are just months apart in age.
It is her first born that the prayer request is about.
Yesterday he had to have a bone marrow test at a
children's hospital in The Big City.
They will find out Friday
whether or not he has lukemia.
Even saying that just makes me feel sick.

This child, this son of my friend, is an exceptional child.
He is such a precious kid. He has always made that
impression on me. I have loved the way he talks since
I first remember meeting him. He has this very precise
way of pronouncing things. He is a Boy Scout (or maybe they
are still cub scouts) with the goal of making Eagle Scout.
He is a Christian. He is one of those kids who says
"yes ma'am" without any prompting from his parents.
He is kind of like a child from another era.
Even has that 1950's little boy hair cut.
He is just a great kid.

We never know what God is up to.
I am praying and praying that the path
that lies ahead of this child will not be lukemia
or any other health problem.
I'm praying that it's all a mistake
and that he will be fine and normal and healthy.
Pray for him with me, will you?

Things like this make everything else
fall into perspective.
I keep thinking of my friend, the mom,
wondering how she is handling this.

What do I ever ever have to complain about?

The Roller Coaster of Bell's Mind

I have always said that the first year of life
of a new little person in our home
is always one of my better times for
having a schedule and sticking to a routine.
I am so NOT a routine person by nature.
I'm more of a
fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants
type person. To the bone.
But the great thing about having babies is that
I don't know how to do that without putting them
on a schedule. I'm not one of these hyper-scheduling people
who plans out my day in fifteen minute segments.
No, no. Don't get me wrong.
You won't see me stopping in the middle of the second
verse of a song because Singing Time is over
(don't laugh---I know someone who actually was this way).
And Singing Time? Hello?
Singing Time here on the homestead is from
when you wake up until you go to sleep at our house.
(Do other home schooling moms constantly have to say
"please stop singing" when they're up to their armpits
in school work? Even while I am asking them to be quiet
during school time, I know I am the one who,
without meaning to, will be breaking into song
in fourteen seconds. We're just not
a quiet bunch.)

So it starts at the hospital,
this "schedule" that I put my babies on.
And I don't know if it's the best thing to do or not,
but it is what we have done and it has worked for us.
I have been able to nurse all of my babies.
They have all slept through the night
in a decent amount of time
(usually around 8-9 weeks, but with Sweet T is was
three months and his father was going crazy
--I'd like to think we've grown since then).
They've all been healthy and happy babies.
And life has carried on while they were on the scene,
so I think it has worked for us.
Oh, and obviously having a baby didn't make me
insane enough to say "I'll never do that again."
Whenever I hear a woman with one child saying
in a concrete tone of voice that she will not have
another baby, (not saying like "we only want one" but
"I will not go through all of that again") it just makes me sad.
Because I wonder what part of her equation was
so bad that it made her come to this determined conclusion.

Anyway, I'm just saying,
I like the schedule for babies.
I embrace the schedule.
I take the schedule out to lunch
and give it occasional back rubs.
The schedule is my friend.
It's all I have ever done
and I wouldn't know how to do it any other way.

We are at a very easy stage with Baby J right now.
He has milk at 8am, 12 noon, 4pm, and 8pm.
He also eats three times a day (at regular meal times).
He goes to sleep right after that night time nursing and
I get him up to feed him for that first morning feeding.
He is at that stage where he is ready and waiting for his
morning nap. They always seem to want/need/love the
morning nap at this age (he's 8 months).
And we have fallen into the pattern of doing most all of
our "everybody together at the kitchen table" schooling
by the time that 10 am nap time rolls around.
By that time, Sweet T is done with all his "paper work."
Today I brought him upstairs with me when I put
Baby J down for his nap. Sweet T is watching a
Leapfrog video in my room. It's best to remove him
(as far away as possible) from Lovely K and Big E
while they continue with their school work.
Of course they always have to bemoan the fact
that they wish they were still in kindergarten
and had easy work and constructive play.
Boo hoo.
But don't we all do that through life?
The elementary kids are thinking how easy the
kindergartner has is. The high schoolers are thinking
how easy the elementary students have it. The college
kid thinks how easy things were in high school.
The harried mom of young children thinks how easy her
life was in college. The empty nester remembers how
easy life was when her kids were little,
under her feet at home.
It goes on and on.

We all tend to think that way,
but hopefully you, like me, have these
moments of clarity
when you kind of get a whiff of
The Big Picture floating on the breeze
and you stop and look around you and soak it in.
See the good things that are around you.
Appreciate the beauty that is there.
Enjoy the moment before it passes.
Maybe things were better in the past,
maybe you are completely surrounded and overwhelmed
by your own Big Stinky Situation,
maybe you are in pain or you're lonely
or you're depressed.
There is beauty in each day.
There is always a reason to smile.
The God of the Universe is waiting
to show you His grace and mercy.
You may not get out of the consequences
for your past choices or behavior.
You may have to remain in your Big Stink.
You may not have relief for your pain.
But look above.
The sun is in the sky.
The heavens have not fallen to the earth.
The Lord of all creation is seated on His throne
and you can call out to Him.
You can take your praise and thanksgiving to Him,
but you can also go to Him with your pain
and your sadness and your grief and regret.
Take it all to Him.
He will forgive you.
He will help you.
He will lift you up out of your pit.
He will set you on the right path.
He will guide you.
He loves you right now, where you are.
He will never leave you or forsake you.
He will be that friend that is closer than a brother.
You can be happy in Him.


.....hmmm....how did I get to preaching
from talking about baby schedules?
I sometimes can't ride on my own train of thought.
It can be more like a roller coaster than a train.
Oh well.
Maybe somebody needed to hear that today.
Maybe somebody will be encouraged by those words.

Have a good day, Dear Reader.
Make it a good one.

Just call me Gene Autry.

I think I'm just going to yell out
in the middle of each post from now on
I NEED A PRINTER!
So don't be alarmed if this happens.
And the reason?
Well, it's simply because I do indeed need a printer.
It's messing up my life, my schooling, my record keeping,
my attempts to organize and successfully run this
household. It's the single item standing between me
and happiness, I tell you. And I just don't think everyone
realizes how important it is
that we replace my dearly departed printer.

It's Monday. I am dealing with the left overs
from last week's illness. My throat feels like
two pieces of gravel have been super glued to the sides
of it....somewhere deep down in there
....and it's so pleasant.
So very pleasant.
But we got right on the business
of school this morning and everyone was done with
everything but their independent reading by lunch time.
I think it was a good thing to start off giving Big E an
overdose of Math those first couple of weeks.
Now he's down to more normal assignments
and he doesn't seem to take his sweet time
about getting it done.
Or at least he didn't today.

Today has been
one of those days of returning.....
Have you ever had company staying with you
for a while and then after they leave,
it's like that "ahhhhhh (stretch, get comfy),
we have the house back to ourselves."
Today has been that day.
That "back to normal" kind of day.
Last week I didn't get up on time a single day
while the in-laws were here.
For one thing, I was sick and felt terrible.
Second, I couldn't go sit in my spot and drink and read
like I like to do in the morning because my spot is in
the guest room. Whenever we have company
and I can't just go sit in my spot, I always make
mental plans for moving my chair and my lamp up
to my bedroom, but I haven't done it yet.
I like it where it is. The room it is in is part of what
makes it my favorite spot. Maybe I should just
run my guests out of their bedroom for twenty minutes
each morning, first thing. Or tell them that they can
stay in their room if they'll lock themselves
in their bathroom for that time.

I should really write a book on hospitality.

Remind me to tell you about my mother-in-law
getting a black eye while she was here.
And no, a fight did not break out.

I NEED A PRINTER!

Tonight is Sweet T's first ever soccer practice.
He is very excited.
He thought he was going to be on the same team as
his little buddy, but that didn't happen. Oh well.
Big E's soccer practice begins tomorrow night.
I have told you before, but it's still true:
I like soccer.
I know my family is standing behind me
rolling their eyes when I say that. My parents and
brothers were all excited about the start of baseball
season in the spring--and I was the one rolling my eyes.
But I like soccer.
It's a completely different experience.
Newt Gingrich is not involved.

Soccer also means that it's fall.
The days are going to get shorter.
There will be more rain.
And some pumpkins.
A sweater here and there.
And a pot of soup.
All the things I love are converging.
I love it.

One thing I don't love is having to remember
to fix dinner early. We usually eat supper at 6pm
(which my mother-in-law is forever trying to
bump up.....maybe they want to eat early because
they are getting the senior citizens discount...but we
don't want to eat supper while Oprah is on)
but that's when soccer practice will be for both of
the boys. So I'll need to feed them at 5 so they have
time for the food to get to where it's going.
I'm thinking with Lloyd Dobbler down in the dungeon,
we may have bigger meals for lunch and more
lunch-like meals for supper
on these nights.

We're back in the saddle with the fall schedule,
or at least we are getting back in the saddle.
More things coming to add to it.
But life is beginning to feel more normal for me
than it has in a long time.
I like normal.
I like ordinary.
(You should know that.)

Bang Bang Bang

• You know what that bang bang bang means--bullets!
  
• Friday notes.
  
• Come on in out of the rain and warm yourself by the fire.

• Football has just appeared everywhere. So often we are well into football season before I ever notice anything about it. Is there more football buzz or more games or more something this year? Why am I even aware of football?
• I did actually try to write to you this week, but I was busy and the posts never got finished....and then it was two days later.....and here we are, Friday, and I just thought I'd fill you full of bullets.
• Lovely K just finished reading Peter and The Starcatchers and she is so hyped up. She keeps running in here every few minutes telling me something about it. We just looked up what the second book is in that series and she's already thinking our library doesn't have it. We will see. Just not tonight.
• I was sick this week. Raw throat. Aches and pains. Fever. But the great thing about it was, everything got done. I did school the day I was really sick and my in-laws did everything else (plus some, if you know them). That's when I think that Olivia Walton had the right idea. Have the grandparents right there to help out during the crazy years with little ones and then when you get tired of it all, act like you have TB and move to the beach.
• So glad I just looked back at that bullet above. I initially typed "I was six this week." What if I hadn't corrected that?
  
• My house is mostly clean right now. You know why. I told you above. In-laws.
• The basement is starting to look like a room. I think the drywaller guy will be totally finished tomorrow.
  
• I got my hair chopped off. I have to go back for some fine tuning. The stylist left too much hair on the sides. I have extremely thick hair and it just has to be beaten into submission from time to time.
• Today is my 16th wedding anniversary. Lloyd Dobbler just came dragging in from his week in Atlanta tonight. We are going out on our little anniversary date tomorrow. Hooray.
• My throat hurts really bad again tonight. Why does my throat do this? Does it hate me? Why can't it behave like the rest of my body? Stupid throat.
• I was just really enchanted with my children today and tonight. Do you have days like that? Where you just watch your children and everything they do just seems so wonderful to you, you feel like you are living this "perfect", enchanted life and you are so aware of the blessings you have been given. I am so thankful for my children. They are my gifts from God. Best gifts ever.
• Someone at our home school co-op today told me that each week I look thinner. I hate to tell you this, but it's the same woman I suspect of drinking.
• Next week starts a bunch of stuff. Soccer for Big E and Sweet T. Piano lessons for Lovely K. The week after that, Lovely K starts ballet and I haven't bought (or even located) any of the stuff I have to buy for that. But I'm becoming very Scarlett O'Hara in the way I deal with things. "I won't think about that today. I'll think about that tomorrow." You'll soon see me wearing the drapes.
• We went swimming for the first time in two weeks this week (Tuesday, I think). It felt like we hadn't been in forever. We enjoy going to the Popsicles' pool so much and are so thankful that they invite us to use it. It's the best set up ever. There's no way I'd be traipsing off to the rec center with my four kids. No thank you.
• I'm going to bed.
  

Sherlock Holmes

Being always up on the latest news and trends as I am,
(cough, cough)
I didn't even know what a blog was when I first
discovered one. At our old house, as we were making
plans for this house, I was searching for pictures of
real kitchens for inspiration as I worked on the design
of my current kitchen and I came across a blog.
It's one of the ones currently listed on the right.
It's not some amazing, award-winning blog.
But the author of it is a sweet woman who I feel like
I know even though I rarely comment on her blog
and we have only communicated with each other
.....mmmm, once, maybe twice.
But you know how the blog world is.
You are looking into some one's life
(as much as they show you)
and you kind of feel like you know them.

There was this other blog that I found
back when I first discovered the blog world
(just call me Christopher Columbus)
and it was one of my favorites. I loved the
decorating style this woman had. I loved her style in
her wardrobe. I just loved reading everything she wrote
and I knew if I knew her in real life, we would be friends.
Buddies. Kindred spirits.
And then it seemed like she was headed into
a tough time in her life (she didn't exactly spell it out),
and suddenly the blog just stopped.
I checked it faithfully, but she didn't write.
I was so sad when I went to check on it one day
and even the old posts were gone.
The whole blog was gone.
But today for some reason I decided to google her.
I googled everything I could think of and,
lo and behold, I found her.
She had moved her blog and slightly altered the name.
She had had a long absence in writing
where she sold her home and moved and had a baby.
Oh, yeah. Busy mom. I totally understand why
she had no time to blog. So I caught up as much
as she had written, but even her last post on that new blog
was almost a year ago. I hope she's not MIA again.
I am just so happy to know that she is okay.
When her first blog disappeared, it was right after
she had announced that she was expecting,
and I remember wondering about her baby and praying
that everything was alright, that her absence was not
due to some tragedy in her life.
I felt like I had solved some big mystery or something.
Hooray for me.
I found my lost blogger.

Rubber Necking

I have one of those neck things today---you know how
you get a "crick" in your neck for some mysterious reason.
Sometimes they aren't that bad, you just don't turn
your head a certain way and then before you know it,
it's gone.
Some are more menacing.
Some are the spoiled, only child of some
family of "cricks" and they
demand all the attention, center stage,
you know what I mean.
Well--I got that spoiled brat of a "crick" today.
If I want to do anything other than look
to my extreme right then it is a
constant, annoying OUCH!!!!

I was supposed to be so productive today.
I've spent most of my time entertaining this
obnoxious "crick" who will not be left alone
to amuse herself. Oh no.
She is the queen of the squeaky wheels
and I don't seem to have enough grease to shut her up.
So I've not been too productive.

I did, however, feed Baby J a Ritz cracker.
He was so excited when I came at him
with this new treat. When he's really happy or
excited about something, his right hand will just tremble.
It's totally a Baby J thing.
And he just woofed that cracker down with no problems,
no questions, no hesitations.
He just sat there afterward wishing I had
already taught him the sign for "more."

I did find some new (new to me), interesting blogs today
and added them to my regulars there on your right.
I do this from time to time. If I don't like them after
a while, they get the axe. One I had added recently
(but forgotten to read) suddenly went private.
I wondered what the deal was with that.
Did she really go private or did she just block me?
I guess we'll never know.
And who would block me anyway?
I'm kind to my web-footed friends.

I also found these two artists who record songs in
some little room in their house. I think they are so talented.
I watched all their videos---with my chair pointed left
so I could sit and look to my extreme right at
the computer screen. The guy looks like he would
be SUCH a fun person and I love the way he puts these
videos together. The girl is beautiful and has such a
great voice. That's the kind of voice I need to have.

My daughter this week was telling me about a song
she wanted me to sing in front of our church.
I told her I didn't think that would happen
since I didn't have a very good voice.
(Nobody who has heard me has ever said
"Would you sing that again?")
She sighed at me and proceeded to tell me that
she thought I had a great voice, that I was one of
the best female singers she knew
(she needs to get out more!),
and a whole long tirade of praise and exaggeration.
I do sing to my children constantly.
And I do mean CONSTANTLY.
But I never really think about what they think of my voice.
They do think I know every song on the radio.
I do (for some crazy reason) pride myself in having
a head FULL of useless trivia and song lyrics.
I might not be of much use in life
and certainly not the person
you would want with you if you had to
find your way out of the jungle or something like that...
but I'm great to have on your team for party games.
Except for the Math or Science questions.

That's me, your faithful Bell.
Helpful in times of need?
Probably more present than actually helpful.
Helpful in moments of spontaneous real life comedy,
able to answer useless trivia questions in a single bound,
called upon to name that tune by
loved ones near and far...
That's me.
Are these things I could put on a resume?

I know how this panda feels.

The Silver Bullet

• It's Friday again. Time for random thoughts. And bullets.
• This morning while driving the kids to school, I got to thinking about the way people yell out "Geronimo!!!" when they jump out of a plane or off of a cliff or something like that. I was wondering where that came from, who was the first person who did that, and why. If you have this information, please fill me in.
• I hate money.
  
• We haven't been swimming in two weeks. This is a long time for us. Poor Mr. Popsicle has a leak in his pool. He thought it was fixed, but someone discovered today that it wasn't. It's been so hot. And we've missed seeing the Popsicles (they've been out of town on the last couple of weekends so we haven't even seen them at church).
  
• There's this big storm that came rolling in a few minutes ago. It's thundering and lightening like crazy. I like summer storms (as long as they are not of the tornado type). I wish it would rain all night.
  
• Second week of school finished. Got the last of the curriculum this week so we are settling down into everything. I think it's going to be a good year. I just feel like I am juggling more balls than ever before---oh, maybe because I am!
• I've been getting up kind of on time this week. If you knew what a life long struggle this has been for me, you would be proud of me for this. And I mean I've been getting up like a normal person, doing the necessary things and being nice about it. (Even as a baby my mother said she knew I was not a morning person.) A couple of nights this past week I went to bed early and maybe that's the secret to being able to get up in the morning. Who would have thought it? Elisabeth Elliott's father was right: it does start the night before.
• Lovely K is going to make a home made angel food cake this weekend (if I can squeeze it in with the four million other things I need to do before the in-laws come in on Sunday for the week). I always used a recipe from my grandmother's home economics book when I used to make these, but I found a recipe in one of those Martha Stewart magazine-type things I was getting there for a while. We're going to try the new recipe. Hopefully I won't be woefully disappointed in another of Martha's recipes. Do I need to remind you?
• I found the cutest dress today at JC Penney's. It was so cute on the hanger. This pale pea green and cream, big polka dots, classic, feminine cut. Kind of looked like it had a '40s or 50's flair to it. I was enchanted with it. And it was on the clearance rack. It had one of those cross over V necks and on the hanger I had no idea that it wasn't just the perfect little dress. Took it into the dressing room and I just could not have been more surprised to find that neckline was a tribute to the deep south. It was ridiculous. I mean, it would have been such a lovely dress....and I'm thinking, who wants this type of dress cut that low? Ridiculously low. I realize I'm still the milk truck here with the nursing thing going on, but I don't think that played much of a part in this situation. It was just so aggravating. Why is it that if you find a dress that's decent on the bottom half, it has to be strapless or expose 85%of your bosom and if you find one that's modest and attractive on the top half, its bottom part is some tight, mini-skirt with a slit to the waistline?!?!? Why is this? Why can't we have the classic, modest cut on the whole dress? Put the stripper neckline with the stripper skirt and not mix the two.
  
• For some reason I'm thinking the title of this post is also the name of a beer. Is that true? I'm not exactly in touch with names of beers, but I'm thinking there used to be commercials for a beer called The Silver Bullet. Or else some beer that is named something else was said to taste like a silver bullet.....or be like a silver bullet in some other way. Why would you want something to taste like a silver bullet? I don't know. But then, I can't think of many subjects I know less about than the subject of beer. If you googled "the silver bullet" hoping to find an article about beer, I'm sorry to have led you astray.
• What do you do when you wake up at night and can't fall back to sleep? This is hardly ever a problem for me. I am a sound sleeper and I'm usually very tired by the end of the day. So I sleep at night like a baby. But when I don't sleep for some reason, I pray. I say all that to say this: I got a lot of praying done last night. I was sooo tired today. And it's a quarter 'til nine on a Friday night. When I was 20, it would still be early enough to call a friend and say "Hey, you want to do something tonight?" How old am I that I just want to get on my jammies and crawl into bed?
• Watched a little bit of Man Vs. Wild tonight. We used to watch that faithfully a couple of years ago. Lovely K and Big E lived for that show. So we start watching it tonight....and I have to say, when Bear Grylls started eating a live octopus, it just made me want to hurl. And then after a commercial or two, he had a jar full of insects that he mushed together into a nice squirmy wad of protein-packed breakfast....I don't think I have the stomach to watch this show any more. I'd drink 100 Silver Bullets before I'd eat that mess. And it's just so strange to watch this great-looking guy just eating these horrible things. Even now...just thinking about it....it's making my face get all wadded up.....yuck.
• Busy weekend ahead. Not like we have a lot of plans going on, just SO MUCH to do. So much to get done before Monday. I could get a head start on it tonight after the kids are tucked in...but weren't you reading two bullets ago? I got a lot of praying done last night, not a lot of sleeping. I'm tired. I'm going to turn in. And I don't care if it's not 9pm yet. I'm a grown woman. I can go to bed whenever I want to.
  
• Have a lovely weekend, Dear Reader.

Grab your pipe and a cardigan sweater!

I was actually looking up some Christmas music
when I came across this.
I just knew my Dear Reader would love
a good sing-a-long with Perry Como.
Who wouldn't?

Norman Rockwell Goes Bowling

If I had my act together
as well as some of you people do,
I would slap up the picture I took this afternoon
of Lovely K and Sweet T raking leaves
in my parents' front yard.
It was like one of those Norman Rockwell moments
when I drove up the street and saw them doing this.
I had just been thinking myself how this afternoon
had hints of fall in it.
Granted we are under warnings because of the
extreme heat,
so it's not like it was a cool autumn breeze
was on the scene. No, no.
But the sky was overcast and the parking lot at
the school was full and for some reason it just
seemed like a day that might actually
lead us to the fall.
Autumn.
My favorite time of year.
I know I probably say that about every season
at some time or another
(except summer---don't' think I've ever called it my favorite)
but if I was in the fast money round of The Family Feud
and I had to give the answer to
"Name your favorite season"
it would be Fall.
Autumn.
Whatever you want to call it.
It would be that lovely time of the year
which I am just beginning to sense
somewhere out there on the horizon.

We got all our school work done this morning
because my parents were coming with a treat
this afternoon. They took the kids
(and me) bowling. Our kids have spent many an hour
bowling at my parents house on their wii. Lovely K has
bowled at birthday parties a couple of times.
The boys had not been bowling.
So we went---and a good day to go too---they have
Dollar Wednesdays at this particular bowling alley.
That meant that our shoes were a dollar and each
game was just a dollar per person.
So we bowled.
I can totally see this becoming the thing to do
in the winter when we need to burn up some energy
or when we are suffering from cabin fever.
The kids actually did pretty good for beginners.
Even Sweet T.
It was so precious to watch him.
The lightest ball you could get was a six pounder
and it was just a struggle for him. But if you know
my Sweet T, he managed to struggle with it
and he bowled. He did great.
He is going to be such a competitor.


If you're keeping track of things at home,
you can go ahead and tally up the score for
Bell vs. ABEKA.
I got the order today.
I have books for my poor little kindergartner!
At last.
At the end of the second week of school,
we finally get his major curriculum in.
I am so glad.
He was beginning to suspect that
there's nothing to this school thing.
Boy is he ever wrong about that.

Oh, Dear Reader, it just warms my heart
to think that fall is coming.
It would give me that inspired, invigorated feeling
...if I weren't totally exhausted.
I'm going to bed.
Goodnight.

To the ones I love

I was sitting here today
missing a friend
and thinking about
old friends.

This week I gave a gift
to an old friend....someone I have
known for many years,
much water under the bridge.
In recent years we seem to have drifted apart
though our lives intersect on many points.
I was going through some stuff in my bedroom and
came across an old book of poetry this friend gave me
on my birthday many years ago.
I remembered how this friend always carefully selected
gifts for friends---not that there was a lot of money spent
or a gift that would draw attention to itself,
but it was the sentimental factor.
"I got you this because of this reason."
So when it was time to pick up a gift for this friend,
I remembered this. And tried to follow suite
by selecting a gift with some point of significance.
It was later, after the gift had been given and received,
that the friend came to me to tell me that it had meant
something special. The friend appreciated my gesture.
It wasn't a big thing, just a moment.
Just a connection.
Just two people saying "Hey....I care about you."
It made me wonder why I'm not seeking out
moments like these more, why it seems so easy
for friendship to grow stale as we grow older.
Our schedules are busy, maybe we chose paths that
take us away from friends whether by physical distance
or in the difference between the lifestyles we lead,
maybe our kids don't get along or our spouses don't
get along...there are so many things that can
separate us, letting the bridges between me and
that friend fall into disrepair.
I don't like that.
I don't like little foxes spoiling the vines.
I love my friends.








Here's an old poem
by Rod McKuen
with a similar sentiment:

In Case You Didn't Know

Some days up ahead
will come down empty
and some years fuller
than the fullest one we've known before.

Today has been
the best day yet.
I thought
you ought to know that,
and I thought it time
that I said THANK YOU
for whatever might have
passed between us
that in your mind
you might have felt
missed my attention.

It didn't
and it doesn't
and it won't.

wow

Just read this old prayer this morning.
I think it's from The Valley of Vision or
some similar collection of prayers.
But I thought it was phenomenal.
I'm going to get access to a printer and print off
a beautiful copy of this to put with my pile of "morning stuff."

If I prayed this with sincerity of heart each morning,
my days would probably be a lot different.

Morning Dedication

Almighty God, as I cross the threshold of this day I commit myself, soul, body, affairs, friends, to Thy care. Watch over, keep, guide, direct, sanctify, bless me. Incline my heart to thy ways. Mould me wholly into the image of Jesus, as a potter forms clay. May my lips be a well-tuned harp to sound Thy praise. Let those around see me living by Thy Spirit, trampling the world underfoot, unconformed to lying vanities, transformed by a renewed mind, clad in the entire armour of God, shining as a never-dimmed light, showing holiness in all my doings. Let no evil this day soil my thoughts, words, hands. May I travel miry paths with a life pure from spot or stain. In needful transactions let my affection be in heaven, and my love soar upwards in flames of fire, my gaze fixed on unseen things, my eyes open to the emptiness, fragility, mockery of earth and its vanities. May I view all things in the mirror of eternity, waiting for the coming of my Lord, listening for the last trumpet call, hastening unto the new heaven and earth. Order this day all my communications according to Thy wisdom, and to the gain of mutual good. Forbid that I should not be profited or made profitable. May I speak each word as if my last word, and walk each step as my final one. If my life should end today, let this be my best day.

Grasping

While today has been much better than last Monday
and most of last week,
it has not been a great day for me personally.
I feel like I am struggling with something unknown.
I told you I had an "incomplete" feeling about our
schooling. I feel like I am just struggling in general
with some big "unknown."
I don't know how to better describe it.
I am trying to do the things I know I ought to be doing.
I am trying to walk in the plain paths, not looking to the
left or right. Part of me feels like I'm finally at a point,
after the big stink and the crazy pregnancy
and all the health weirdness before the pregnancy
....that after all that, I'm finally at a point where I can
just relax and stop holding on so tightly.
Whenever I ride a roller coaster,
I always have a death grip on the safety bar in front of me
until that point where you realize all the loops and
mountains are over, you're about to ride into the shed
and get out of the scary ride.
Things in our lives have been mountains and valleys,
unexpected loops and drama, roller coaster living
for quite a while now.
I keep wanting to return to the way things were before.
I keep wanting to find a way to get back to that
simplicity and easiness
I had before. And right now I just feel like
I am struggling.
I'm tired.
I'm constantly stressed.
I'm overwhelmed sometimes with just all the daily stuff,
never mind the big picture.
I feel so inadequate.
I wonder why God has given me so much to do
when I am not better equipped for the job.
I don't like some things in my life and I can't change them.
I just feel like I need somebody to take care of me.
I don't mean to take care of me like
do things for me or make my life easier.
Perhaps a better way to say it would be that I feel like
I need some one to care for me,
to be concerned about me, to watch out for me.
Maybe I feel vulnerable, weak,
something like that.

A friend of mine posted a verse today on facebook
that was such an encouragement for me.
It has been one of my favorites
for several years now.
It was Isaiah 40:11 where it speaks of how
the Lord will "gently lead those who are with young."
I needed that reminder.
I need to be gently led right now.

Do you ever feel that way?

Monday Morning Quarterback

Well, it's Monday again.
I have to say, right off the bat, that this Monday
is better than last. By far.
For one thing, I am home all day today as are my
little scholars. We hit the floor running this morning
and things have gone rather well. Compared to last
week, they've gone heavenly. I don't know what it is
that has me feeling like something isn't going right
....or something is missing.
It may be that instead of me having a lesson plan type book
that is like the master plan, this year Lovely K and Big E each
have planners where all that information is for them individually.
Maybe that just makes things
"feel" different for me.
But I don't really think that's it.
I just feel like something is being overlooked.
Maybe it's the fact that we are still waiting on
our Language Arts stuff from ABEKA.
(And all of Sweet T's kindergarten stuff from them.
And I'm still not ready to joke about that.)
Maybe that's it.
So whenever that shipment shows up,
maybe I'll feel like everything is fine
and I'll stop looking over my academic shoulder
wondering what it is that isn't right.

I have friends who are starting home schooling this year,
newbies. It doesn't seem like it was
that long ago that it was me just starting out.
So much water under the bridge since then.
When I think of how things were then,
when Lovely K was starting kindergarten,
it seems like a different life. It was a
much easier life for me back then.
I still feel like the new face at the home schooling party
even though this is our sixth year.

We had some friends over (sort of impromptu) for
lunch yesterday after church. Whenever I am up early
fixing a good meal on Sunday, my family all wants to
know "who can we invite over for lunch?"
When they asked this yesterday, I said we were not
having anyone over. The house was a
wreck and I knew they weren't picking up anything
as they asked who they could invite over.
But then when I was talking to my friend at church,
I could tell she was tired and I just said,
"Hey, I cooked. Why don't ya'll come eat with us?"
And you know how some friends you don't mind so much
about the house being clean. I kind of have that standard
that if somebody is coming over for the first time,
I want the house to be clean.
But if it's an old friend, I'm not so picky.
It ended up being a nice afternoon.

Lovely K and her little friend made some brownies
from scratch yesterday afternoon to take to the
ice cream social after church last night.
They were so proud of themselves.
I let them do it all. I even left the room.
And the brownies turned out very well.

Well, I've got a laundry room FULL of dirty clothes
calling out my name.
I need to go close the door
to muffle the sound.

Riddled with Bullets

• First day of our home school co-op for this semester: everything went well. I'm definitely looking forward to my mom keeping Baby J most of these Fridays. It'll make the day easier on him and easier on me. He did good today though. Even got his morning nap in (in the arms of a mommy who hasn't had tiny babies in a long time-- That's the good thing about being around a bunch of home schoolers, lots of mommies who love children) when I had to leave him in the nursery one class period.
• Started Lovely K's Teaching Textbooks math yesterday and she LOVED it. She did five lessons the first day. I am so glad I went with this. Three cheers for Teaching Textbooks! Now I have to listen to Big E whine all year because his math isn't so cool. I told him he could do Teaching Textbooks next year....but you know how far away a year seems to a seven year old.
  
• Terrible headache today. Made me thankful that I don't have them often. And I am very thankful that it didn't turn into a migraine. I can hardly function when one of those shows up. Thanks be to God who is so very gracious to me.
• I find myself thinking from time to time that I should share things of a more spiritual nature with you guys on here. Some blogs I read are like devotionals or something, but if I ever type up a post like that, I usually end up deleting it instead of posting it. Why do I feel uncomfortable sharing that sort of thing? I always wonder if what I say will be misconstrued or misunderstood. I don't want to seem hypocritical. And besides, that's like the most personal part of me. Hard for me to share that. I'm sure you think, after the minutia that I go on and on about here on Ordinary Days that it's not hard for me to share anything.....but it is. That's just how I am.
  
• I've got friends turning 40 left and right. I've got a husband that is headed at that milestone at break neck speed. I have what I hope will seem like a long and winding road before I get there myself, but it's just so weird for "my friends" to be hitting 40. I thought we were all still teenagers.....just heavy, graying teenagers....
• Now the song "The Long and Winding Road" is stuck in my head. The Beatles did have some beautiful songs. I watched Paul McCartney get some presidential award the other night (with my boys in the room with me) and all these people sang his songs to him. It was interesting. I wonder who will be the last Beatle standing. We're down to Paul and Ringo.
  
• My friend and I used to joke about how nice it is to be the last living person from a given situation. Like when my grandmother's siblings were down to just the one remaining brother (he's gone now too), we were saying how that last person gets to say whatever they want about the way things were "back in the day" and no one can say otherwise. And with the dementia that always shows up for the last few years in that branch of my family, who knows what really happened and what didn't. They could have all been making up stories for the last forty years and we wouldn't know any better. So if you want your side of the story to be the one that goes down in the books, you need to outlive your siblings. Or your spouse. Or whoever it is that has a different version of "what happened" than you.
• Having said that, if Ringo is the last man standing, do you think he'll suddenly claim to have written all the songs? Talk about how he did it all and John and Paul bullied him into silence, making him promise not to tell. Who would believe that?
  
• Notice anything different about the tone of my writing when I use bullets?
• Casablanca was on TV tonight. I kind of meant to watch it but I knew it wouldn't work out that way. Can you believe I have never watched that whole movie? I don't really know what it's about other than some man and woman hiding out during some war on, I think, as island. (Are they on an island?) Are you laughing at me for ever calling myself a lover of old movies since I haven't watched this well-known classic? I have also never watched Miracle on 34th Street though I mean to do it each Christmas. Come on over and we'll watch them together. I'll make a big bowl of pop corn.
  

Have a lovely weekend, Dear Reader!

What's funnier than Haiku?

Today has been much better.
Thanks for asking.
Thanks for praying for me,
you sweet potatoes who are doing that and
telling me that you are.
And if you are doing it and not telling me that you are,
thanks to you too.
How much better has it been?
Lots.

It rained today.
To some people, that would not be good news.
But you know me. I love the rainy days. Even though
it was just for a little while. It has caused me to realize that
these blazing desert days of summer will not last for ever.
It has caused me to want to look ahead to recipes for thick,
hearty meals. It has caused me to want to whip out the
Christmas music. I mean, it's August. It's about time for me
to be playing those holiday songs and making
everyone around me inch a little bit
closer to insanity.

In other news, my parents are flying to L.A.
I don't mean they are in the air right now,
but they have their tickets and the date of departure
is penciled in on their calendars. (mine too)
For some reason I have been thinking about
the part of his routine where Jeff Foxworthy
describes his family's vacation as
The Clampets Go to Maui.
(I've told them this--we've already laughed about this)
Fortunately my parents are going with another couple
whose driving skills give me no reason for alarm.
Every time I talk to my mother from now until they go
on this trip, I will stress the importance of
not letting my father drive in L.A.
Or really anywhere other than
long straight strips of high way with little or no traffic.
I think the reason for going to L.A. on the first leg
of their little adventure is so that they can hit
the Ronald Reagan museum
or library or something of his.
Maybe it's his house.
I don't know.
Maybe they've scheduled a luncheon with Nancy.
Is anything pertaining to President Reagan
located in L.A.?

Here's what I think of when I think of
President Reagan now:
I think of Lovely K and the all day coverage of his funeral.
Lovely K was just a little person when President Reagan died,
but for some reason she gathered around the TV with
the rest of us watching the proceedings intently.
It was late in the day when they were finally doing
the actually burial part somewhere in California
when Lovely K grew tired of watching.
With a loud sigh, she asked,
"When are they going to open the box
so we can watch him fly up to heaven?!?!"

Now I think you should go to this website
and buy yourself a funny tee shirt.
There are plenty to chose from.
I want the one that corresponds with my
much used phrase "liar, liar, pants on fire."
Or the shirt with the food chain that has zombies on top,

just above humans.

The very best one though says:
Haikus are easy
But sometimes they don't make sense
Refrigerator

That cracks me up.

Ricky, don't lose that number. Again. You stooge.

I just stumbled across this blog and the post today, about
singing old hymns, jumped out at me. I absolutely know
what this lady is talking about.
Haven't you had a similar experience?
Isn't it marvelous how the Holy Spirit reminds us
of things? Encourages us? Comforts us?
And that reminds me why it is so important for me
to be filling the heads of my little babes with things
like Scripture and hymns and all those things that
meet the "whatsoever things" criteria.

It's "later that same day"
(that stinky day I was moaning about earlier)
and I am trying to get in a better frame of mind.
I am going to seek out some encouragement
where I know I can find it without fail.

Maybe tomorrow or some other day in the future
when I am not mad and grumpy and hot
and when I am able to make a joke about it,
I will tell you how aggravated I am with the people
at ABEKA books. Ugh.
I just can't even think about it right now.
Let me just say this if you are
in customer service or deal with the public,
simply saying "I'm sorry" when the company
you work for or represent is
RAINING all over some one's parade,
just saying those words, well, it goes a long way.
Because RICKY at ABEKA could have said that today
and I would be a lot less mad right now.
But he didn't say it.
Or admit that it was his fault
that my well planned first few weeks of school
are now messed up.
I would like to kick Ricky in the shins right now.

Bell's Bad Mood

Hello Dear Reader.

In case you are wondering where I've been,
I hope you weren't imagining that we suddenly packed up
and ran off to the beach or some luxury getaway.
I wouldn't want you to be disappointed.
We're been here.
Up to our arm pits in life.
(we have reached that part of the summer where
I am done with it, ready to swear off
summer all together, longing for the cooler, slower days
of fall, and ready to SHOOT the next person who
brings any fruit or vegetable into this house
and lays it on my kitchen counter tops
.....and I do mean that....where is my gun?)

The name of the blog is ORDINARY days,
remember?
And I've just been overcome by them.
I'm telling you, if the last few days are any sign
of the way the rest of my life is going to be,
I will never have time
to write one word to you ever again.

But I think sanity will prevail.
I think this whirlwind will die down.
I think my kids will get their little heads
screwed on right before I have to go for a drive
in the country and drop them off in a big field
where they can run and play and be as crazy as
they want to be.

Today has been one of those days.
This first week of our school year has been
ridiculous.
I don't know of any better way to describe it.
If a circus comes anywhere near our home,
I may run away with them. Eating fire or guessing
peoples' weight or walking a tight rope sounds like
such a nice, pleasant way
to spend your days....

Something just popped into my mind.
That phrase "in like a lion, out like a lamb."
You've heard of that, haven't you?
I know it's usually said in regards to months and
the weather, but I wonder if it could apply to a school year.
In like a lion and out like a lamb.
That would give me something to look forward to.

Don't get me wrong or think I am
out on the ledge about to jump. I know it's just
"one of those days" and all that jazz. I hear that
little voice inside my head saying "this too shall pass."
I'm just so very ready for it to pass on by.
I am ready to be done with the things
that are making me crazy.
Part of it is my own fault.
I'm working on that.

I just really need that magic wand
to wave over this house and these children
and my attitude and a few other things
to make them better.
Has anybody seen that thing?