Last First Times

This morning Baby J had his first encounter with a Cheerio.
I find myself really stopping and having these moments
of deep thought sometimes when it occurs to me
that these little "firsts" with him are
the last of those types
of firsts we will have in this home.
He's growing so fast and he is so eager to do things.
This will be the last time somebody learns to sit up
and the last time somebody is cutting teeth
and the last time somebody grows out of size 3 diapers.

I just sat there in the kitchen this morning
with my children around me. The three "big" kids
were eating their breakfast and watching
Dick Clark's $25,000 Pyramid
(hey, it's summer! We're out of school, we've gone to
the dogs....so yes, we were watching game shows
while we ate breakfast!) and Baby J was having
that whole exciting first Cheerio experience.
And he was so proud of himself when he was rolling
a Cheerio around in his little drooly mouth.
He'd look over at his brothers and sister like
"Aha! I'm doing what you guys are doing!"
Little does he know there's a big difference between
a single Cheerio in the mouth and a plate full of
eggs, sausage, cantaloupe, and English muffins.

Does every mother do this?
Have these moments when you are so aware that
time is slipping through your fingers?
And at the same time you are desperately trying to
hold on to it, savor it, make it last, you are looking
longingly down the road into the future to days
when you will have more freedom and
less pressure--is that a common feeling?


So I wrote it on the calendar--Baby J's first Cheerios.
And I wonder if I will think about little milestones
like that when I write down, some day in the future,
"Baby J got his driver's license today"
or "Baby J moved into his own apartment today"
or "Baby J got married today."
Only he won't be Baby J then.
He'll be all grown up.
But like I tell my kids when they say they aren't babies,
I tell them,
"You'll always be my baby."

And so they will.