The Pendelum

Hi. Remember me.
The bright eyed and bushy tailed person from earlier today.
Yeah....well....that wore off.
If I ever say that I think I am or could become a morning person,
just assume that I have either lost my mind
or that I am on drugs.
("Have you been taking quayludes?"
That's what we would say in high school
in response to a statement we did not believe.
Aren't you thrilled to learn of all the stupid things
"we" used to say in high school?)

However, this morning I was neither without my mind
nor on drugs. It was a lovely morning.
And it's not like I've been on Elm Street since then
(you know, Elm Street...where the nightmares are...).
I just have a baby who wants to fuss and doesn't want to
fall in line with the program and does not want to wait an
appropriate amount of time to eat.
Lloyd Dobbler keeps reminding me that I have
done all of this before (three times) and that I know
what I am doing and all that.
Blah blah blah.
I don't mean "blah blah blah" like I'm mocking
what he's saying. I appreciate his confidence in me.
It just registers in my mind as "blah blah blah"
because I could have done it three hundred times
in the past and that doesn't really matter right now.
Every baby is different, every situation is different.
This one certainly has been.
And I just find myself constantly thinking
"I am too old for this!"
Mainly at night I think that.
Around midnight.
And at 2:00am.
And 4:00am.
And about 5:46am.

I hope to regain my youthful mental state someday.
And stop writing all these griping and complaining blog posts
to you, my Dear Reader.
Maybe in the spring when the days truly are
sunny and warm
and I will hopefully by then be getting a
very adequate amount of sleep. Lovely K slept
through the night (like 8 to 10 hours) when she was
about 7 weeks old. Big E was more like 9 or 10 weeks
old if I remember correctly. Sweet T was three
months old before he started doing it consistently
and I remember those three months like a long and winding road.
(What poetic words.
Somebody should write a song using those words.
Somebody named Paul.
Or John. Or George or Ringo.)

And I realize that Baby J is only three weeks old. Let's not
get overly excited here and expect the moon and the stars
from this child. He's had a rough time of things too, bless
his heart. He went through all the stuff I went
through....just on the other side of my skin.....so let's
give the child a break.
And I would love to give him a break----He can have
one between midnight and about four or five
in the morning.
That would be lovely.

So anyway....I'm getting ready for another
adventurous night. Hopefully I'll have another lovely
morning to follow itlike I did today. I should show you
what I wrote when reading my Bible this morning
....about the kind of mother I should be.....only then you'd tell
me to SHUT UP with all my griping and BE that kind of mother.

Okay, already.

Stop yelling at me.

Gee whiz.