I am resolved

I remember in school when teachers would make us
write down a list of resolutions for the New Year.
That was the only time I felt compelled to do such a thing.
I guess I'm not a big goal setter,
not a resolution maker.

So why am I surprised when other people
start talking about this topic?
I was just thinking a minute ago that this person
wrote about goals on facebook and then this other person
wrote on their blog about resolutions and why was everyone
talking about this all of a sudden?
Did a motivational speaker blow through town
that I missed out on or something?

And the I remembered.
New Year's.
Tonight's the night.
Get all your bad habits out
and use them for all they are worth.
And then tomorrow promise yourself
never to do them again.
That's just not something I ever felt motivated to do.

But I am looking forward to the new year.
I feel like we are moving into a new phase in our life.
I am looking forward to getting through this
recovery process and getting back to normal
(or as "normal" as life will be as we adjust to the
wonderful newness of Baby J in the house!).
I'm looking forward to 2 1/2 weeks from now
when I can lift more than seven pounds and one ounce.
I'm looking forward to just getting back to day to day living
with my happy young family.
Just the pleasure of ordinary days---those are the things
I love, the things that mean the most to me and what
I miss when they aren't happening.
Like now.
We are not in ordinary days right now.
Everything is off kilter, off track, not the norm.
But this is not forever.

So Happy New Year, Dear Reader!


I hope 2010 will be a good year for us all.
I hope we all will do what brings honor and glory to God.
I hope we will be thankful
---because there is so much to be thankful for.

The Woman Who Saved Christmas

I'd like to tell you today the secret to my success.

Not that I am some fountain of success...but having been on
bed rest for what? Three weeks? I think that's how
long it was. And having to finish up our first semester
of schooling and just generally keep alive three children
and a husband and keep the house from
falling in upon itself---there's no way you can do
all of that without getting up from
a prone position.
So what is a tired, pregnant,
medically restricted girl to do?
Enter: my MIL.
(That's Mother In Law
in case you have
wondered every time I
mentioned her
what in the world a mil is.
I'm not talking about something
in the metric system.)

She has just really been the hero of the day around here. She has jumped in and kept things going so well. The house is cleaner, laundry more kept up with, just every thing on the domestic home front has been taken care of. Plus tending to a bed resting woman. AND then for the last week, we've thrown in new born baby and patient recovering from surgery to the mix. And what do we get? We still get clean clothes and vacuumed floors and a banana on my night stand because I have to have something to eat with the pill I take in the middle of the night. Because of her, we still had Christmas. Things stayed normal enough that my kids weren't all out of sorts and wondering what was happening. And she doesn't just, you know, take care of the necessities; she wants to make sure the kids are having some fun and eating decently and not getting away with murder. She has been so wonderful in helping me. I've never had surgery before. Or a fourth baby. It's been a long week, people....and she's no spring chicken. I know she's been tired and she's probably wondering if she'll ever be able to go home again. But she doesn't complain. She just keeps chugging away.

The woman is great.
I recommend having a great MIL
to any of you who are considering
having a MIL.
Get a good one.
Like I did.

What a difference a week makes.

I was just looking at the last post I wrote on here.
I had gone to church last Sunday morning.
We were getting ready to go to the hospital.
It's so hard for me to believe that was just a week ago.

As I am writing this, I am at home
(not making the trip to church this Sunday morning
though I will really miss the Christmas communion service).
My MIL is downstairs emptying out the dishwasher.
Sweet T is playing in the hall---I can hear him
pushing something around.
And who else?
Oh yes, our newest addition,
Baby J, is snoozing downstairs.

Ah, Baby J.
I wish you could see how precious this baby is.
He is just too much. So perfect. So cute. So cuddly.
He is wonderful.
An absolute gift from God.
My heart is just overflowing with thanks for this child.
We have had a rough past few weeks
and this past week, especially the big birth day,
was the roughest of all,
but now we are recovering and things are inching their way
back to normal.

I am blessed beyond measure.

I don't have a lot of time right now to get on here. Maybe later I will sit down and tell you the whole story of his birth and how things got so crazy there in a matter of minutes---leading to the emergency C-section. But here is the condensed version of the story in pictures.

I went to the hospital Sunday night.
BP still all over the place.
They started giving me some medication that night.

Things were going well with the induction on Monday, though we were running behind schedule. Then, it was like someone pushed a button and everything went crazy. The next thing I knew, I was being pushed down the hall to the Operating Room with a bunch of nurses and my doctor yelling at everyone.

They knocked me out and delivered
my sweet baby boy by C-section.
I didn't see him for three hours (I was out most of that time).


Turns out, he must have been bored in his last minutes in the womb there. He had been headed south (as he was supposed to be); my doctor had even felt his head when he broke my water, so we know it wasn't our imaginations. But that afternoon the boy turned himself upside down so that he was breech and he tied a knot in the umbilical cord. Yes, a knot. Can you believe that? What was he doing? Getting a head start on a Cub Scout badge?

But once I was awake, they brought him to me.

He is doing great.
Just great.

Thank you for checking on us, praying for us, all that.
You are such dear readers and I wish each one of you
could sit here and hold this bundle of joy that is my beautiful new son.

Let the Countdown Begin

Hi guys!
How are you today?
I hope you are having a lovely day.
I wonder how many of you have snow.
We do not. We just have the bitter cold. Sometime in the
night there was a dusting of snow; I remember seeing
it on Lloyd Dobbler's truck when I got up to go the
joint (if you remember what that is).
But it was gone when the morning came.

I went to church today.
Remember earlier this week
when we thought the baby might be arriving on
the scene on Friday?
And that morning I was saying all these things:
"If he's not born today, I want to go
see that movie on Saturday......
If he's not born today, I'm making gingerbread cookies......
If he's not born today, I am going to church Sunday....."
Well, I have done all those things.
Lloyd Dobbler and I went to the movies.
I made the gingerbread cookies.
And I went to church this morning.
The only thing left undone is the cross stitch project,
but I am soooo close.
I think I'll still get it done by Christmas Eve.


I wanted to go to both Sunday School and church this morning. And I did go...but I couldn't make it through it all. I was fine in Sunday school. I just went in there and sat down and everything was fine. And then I came out to the auditorium for church, sat down again, sang a song or two.....and I could tell I wasn't feeling good. My MIL had brought the blood pressure thing with her, so she passed it down to us and during one of the songs (so no one could hear the pump-pump-pump noise) we checked my BP.
The bottom number was really high.
I told him to wait a minute and it would come down. And it would have if I could have laid down right then, but I was on a church pew with my whole family. In a dress that seems a lot shorter now that I have more belly than ever. We waited through the offertory and took it again during the next song and it was actually a little higher than the first time.
A not at all good number on the bottom.
One that makes medical people hop around crazily.
So Lloyd Dobbler made me go home and I was
okay with that. I felt like I needed to rest.
I was just glad that I got to go for a little while
and see my lovely church family people.

So now we are just hanging out this afternoon.
We had a good lunch. And I ate a goody or two for dessert.
My parents will be coming by to pick up my kids soon.
They are taking them to their Christmas program
at their church tonight.
I won't see those three again until after #4 arrives.
Sigh.
My sweet babies.



I need to check the bag that has been
packed and unpacked 100 times.
I need to make sure I've done all the things
that I'm supposed to do.
It's been a long time since May
....I feel like I have been pregnant forever.
But this is the last time, folks
(unless God really has a different plan for us).
We are going to be moving into a new phase of life for us.
I won't be saving things for "the next baby" anymore.
This is it.

And I never thought I'd be at this point,
but I am.
I feel like God has prepared my heart,
and changed my heart,
to get me to where I understand the way things are
and I'm fine with it.
My heart is full. (My house is full too!)
Lloyd Dobbler pointed out to me that I used to always say
"I feel like we have another child out there"
and that I don't say that anymore.
And I don't feel that way anymore.
Of course what woman at the point of delivery
is thinking about having more children?
But ask me again in a few months.
I don't think I'll change.

I'll have my hands and heart full.

No Before, Just After

I wish I had the before picture to show you.
It's an actual photograph
(before we all had digital cameras)
and we don't have the scanner hooked up to
the computer anymore.
So you'll just have to imagine the before picture.
It is me, ten years ago, on an October Sunday morning.
I am wearing the same dress you will see
pictured below. It was the first maternity thing
I wore and I remember being so excited about it.
I thought I looked so pregnant. I probably
weighed 102 lbs in the picture.
I have looked more pregnant every single day
of the last ten years than I did at that moment.

And then here's the after.
Ten years later.
Three pregnancies later.
Much water under the bridge later.

I look at that first picture
(the one you can't see)
and this more recent version of me
....and they don't even seem like the same person.

Do you ever look at yourself in an old photograph
and marvel at the changes you have gone through?
Sometimes you don't even realize
where life has taken you until you see yourself
smiling back at you from some earlier road in life.

Love is

the only easy way through life.

And who'd have thought

that such an easy road

is paved, repaved and used so often.

(from “Jacques Brel” by Rod McKuen)

I'm on Theater Rest

Do you take things literally?
Like if someone tells you they could eat a horse,
do you go check to make sure your barn door is locked
so that your special horse is safe?
Or if someone tells you to scrub the floor
until it shines like the top of the Chrysler building
(in which case, say hello to
your fellow orphan, Annie, for me),
do you google "the Chrysler building"
(on the orphanage PC)
to see just exactly what sort of sheen you are striving for?

I guess I'm just thinking that people take things differently.
I happen to be the type of person who does not
go around looking for ways to push the envelope.
I'm an obeyer, a pleaser, a goody-two-shoes, if you will.
I did not give my parents a lot of grief growing up.
They have to confess this now that I am grown
and when one of my children is swinging from the chandelier,
they start to give Lloyd Dobbler a scrutinizing look
and wonder why they weren't more thorough
with their background check
before handing me over to him many years ago.

So take for instance the big load of rules
had dumped on me
when the medical community told me
several weeks ago,
"Congratulations---you have gestational diabetes!"
I had to go to that little class and be taught and
counseled and all that. And what did I do?
I took notes. I listened.
And then I came home and I obeyed.
I really really have stuck to the diet and rules
that they placed on me. I set the timer when I start a meal
so that I am checking my sugar exactly two hours
after my first bite, like the nurse told me.
I do just what I was told.
And my OB has been so pleased with me.
I made extra copies of the chart they gave me
and though it's not necessary,
I have continued to write down what I am eating
and what my BG numbers are at every reading.
And I take that with me to my little doctor visits
and he looks over it. That way, if I have a high reading,
he looks at the meal and sees the reason why.
The only time I have high readings is if I eat something
questionable.

So anyway, I am saying, put a gold star on my chart.
Pat me on the back.
I'm a good girl.
I'm not thumbing my nose
at those who are trying to help me.
I'm not humming "Born To Be Wild"
while I kicked my diabetic meter into the yard
and eat a handful of candy bars.
I'm not like the other gestational diabetes patient I met
in the waiting room of the high risk doctor
this week. She had a Whopper in one hand
and a large order of fries in the other
and was saying
"That diet they give you
is just too hard to follow."
And you could tell she was trying so hard
to be faithful to it....


Then we come to the matter of bed rest.

I know that this means different things to different people.
My doctor has not been very specific in his instructions
about this. I mean, he does use the term "bed rest"
and I know what both of those words mean.
He knows that I am monitoring my BP regularly
and when it goes up, I am laying on my left side.
Of all the people who don't want me to have health issues,
I am the top of the list,
so I'm not doing anything crazy over here.

It's funny to me if I say that I have done anything,
people immediately want to know how I managed
to do this from my bed.
Like going to lunch at Pizza Hut that day---I layed
around all morning in anticipation of doing that.
I didn't have to walk to the restaurant.
I had to walk just from the van to the table.
It wasn't not a high stress situation.

And then I wrapped Christmas presents one day.
I told you about this.
I was seated doing this "actvity."
Everything had been assembled for me ahead of time.
I told you that my time in the bedroom wrapping
presents included a nap.
Does that sound like anything strenuous to you?

And now we come to today.
If I had been carrying this baby to his due date in
the month of January, tonight was supposed to be a
little "date night" for Lloyd Dobbler and I and
another couple. We were going to go eat somewhere
and go to a movie.
There's a movie coming out just today
that I really want to see.
That had been our plan back before
anyone was talking about blood pressure or bed rest or inductions.

Well, things have changed, obviously.
And yesterday there was a good chance that our
new addition was going to be arriving.
But then that didn't happen.
I had asked Lloyd Dobblerearlier in the week
if Friday ended up going well and we didn't have to rush
to the delivery room, if we could go see the movie anyway,
just he and I.
I didn't think it would happen.
Nothing I have planned has happened
according to the plan lately,
so I just didn't think I'd have this weekend to get stuff done.
So that's been a nice bonus.

You've heard what I've been doing.
Gingerbread cookies. (How'd you do that from your bed?) So glad to have those done. Cross stitch. Not finished, but I think it may be by bed time tonight. That actually could be done in the bed, but I do it near the bed. In a comfy pink chair. With my feet up. No one can complain about that.

But what about going to the movies?
Once again, I'm not walking there.
And you know Lloyd Dobbler is not going to let me
do anything I shouldn't.
He'll probably drop me off at the door even.
And you know he won't let me walk through broken glass.
That's how he became Lloyd Dobbler.

I'll sit while he gets the tickets.
And then I'll go in and sit.
I'll sit during the entire movie.
No running up and down the aisles
or jumping over seats for me.
So basically it will be like sitting in the bed.
I'll be resting.
I'll be fine.
Do you think it's crazy for me to go to the movies right now?
This is the last time I'll be able to go for a long time.

I'm going to do it.

And I'm going to enjoy it.

I just hope I don't run into my doctor there.

"Christmas is for kids"

I wish you guys could be here right now to see the unbridled cuteness that is my little Sweet T. This kid is just SUCH a charmer. So funny. So precious. He has talked non-stop today and it's just so cute to hear some of the things he says. He was telling me today that this guy (a toy figure he was playing with) was an expert swimmer. An expert swimmer. How many three year olds would describe someone with those words? It just amuses me.
And now his big brother and his father have gone out on an errand and he keeps telling me that he thinks they have gone to "Scub Couts".....and when he gets older, he's going to be a "Scub Cout" too.

Lovely K was fussing over me earlier today when I was laying down. I often find myself thinking that she would make a good nurse. She's full of mercy and very attentive when someone is not well. She has a big heart.

And then Big E made me this "Christmas card" today and brought it to me. He had used an envelope and a Christmas sticker for the stamp. The front of it just said the to and from info with some hearts. Inside it said "I love you. You are good at things."
He's such a sweet boy.

Do you ever just have those moments
where you fall in love all over again
with your children?
I do.
All the time.


And we get a new one soon!
I can't wait to meet him.

Everyone has been saying lately
that they wonder what he will be like.
These three babes of mine are all so unique,
so special, so wonderful.

And it just keeps getting better.

So we are all waiting to see what this new baby
will be like. Will he want to rule the world
like his sister? Will he be sensitive and somewhat shy
like his older brother? Will he be
the king of drama and charm like his other brother?
I think he will be his own person
and I can't wait to see what that person will be.

Want to see just how much of
your faithful Bell there is to love this holiday season?
Lovely K took this picture of me by the tree the other night.
What should the appropriate caption under the photo be?


"I can't believe I ate the whole thing."

Speaking of eating,
I got my gingerbread cookies made this afternoon.
Hip-hip-hooray!!!
They are even decorated and sitting out
for the icing to set up. I really did not think
I would get those done this year, but I am so glad I did.
You would have thought it was like manual labor
or something. I was tired by the time I got it all
finished this afternoon and everyone was telling me
to go lay down.
But I got it done!

Isn't it lovely how everything is working out?
God is so good to me.
I am so blessed.
Even the small details
that are not important to anyone but me,
He works those out.

So now it's not quite nine o'clock.
We just got the last of the darling babes tucked in.
There aren't even yet visions of sugar plums
doing their thing in their little heads....
but I am ready for bed myself.
It's been a long day.
But a good one.

I hope yours was good too, Dear Reader.
Good night.

Cats and Dogs

It's raining like crazy in Middle TN.
Cats and dogs. People are whispering about snow,
but come on, people.
Don't get too excited about the white stuff.
You know if they are predicting it,
it probably won't happen.

So I went to the hospital this morning and I am already home.
No baby today.
I was a little anxious this morning. It would have been nice
to have "gotten it over with"---if you know what I mean.
But if they had taken him today, that would have meant
that something was wrong and I didn't want
anything to be wrong.
Actually, my BP readings today were great.
We had this really good nurse that I've seen several times already. We got to talk to her about some stuff and get some questions answered. That was good. She made me feel better about the medicine that my doctor said I'd probably be put on during labor.
So it was just a good thing.
Lloyd Dobbler practiced making the chair into a bed. The bane of his existence is being asked to stay at the hospital overnight with someone. He's already jockeying to see if my mother will stay with me the second night. We know there will be a night before and a night after. Hopefully that'll be it. I'd like everything to go perfectly and for us
to be able to leave as soon as it makes sense.
When Sweet T was born, I wasn't at the hospital quite 24 hours, start to finish. But I felt like I got hustled out the door. Lloyd Dobbler hates being at the hospital. He always wants to just get everyone home....and to have his mother there to keep things running smoothly. He has really been glad to have her here lately.
And like I said before, we couldn't have done it without her.

So anyway....I am back home for some more bed rest and the continuance of this gestational diabetes diet. I'm going to try to make those gingerbread men today and I am going to try to finish the cross stitch project that is so near completion--and that is a Christmas present!!! Why do I keep forgetting that?!? I've got to get that thing DONE.

We are also going to slip out to lunch today. Lloyd Dobbler is working from home the rest of the day. He doesn't have to go back to work until after Christmas now. That'll be nice.
Everything is just shaping up so nicely.
I am so thankful for that. I am so thankful for all the prayers that people have said on my behalf. I am so thankful that God has been so gracious to me through all this. It hasn't been the most fun, pleasant experience of my life, but it hasn't been torture or misery. There has been grace and new mercies every morning.

This would be a good day for a fire in the fireplace! It's chilly and so very wet outside. Messy day. Good day to stay in. Tonight is pizza and a movie night and I'll be giving the kiddos a new movie---a gift from their school teacher (me): it's that old Disney movie "Pete's Dragon." I think they'll love it. I haven't seen it myself in years. But I'll be seeing it tonight.

I hope you have an equally cozy day,
Dear Reader, and that you have
those you love around you.

Twas the Night Before Friday

Well, my Lovely Reader,
I feel like I was productive today
for the first time in....
well.....
it seems like many days.
From 10:00am this morning
until time for supper tonight
(about 6:45),
I was in my bedroom upstairs.
I wrapped almost all of our gifts.
Just a handful left.
Some of those Santa can wrap for himself. Why is that man always pushing his jobs off on me?
I try to figure out what the kids want.
I shop for him.
I stuff the stockings.
Next thing you know
he'll be asking me to take the sleigh
for a loop around the earth.
How lazy is that fat man?

Now do not think that I was wrapping presents
for over nine hours straight.
No, no.
This stretch of time included eating my lunch
(that my MIL delivered to me upstairs);
lunch was followed by a nap because I didn't
sleep worth a dern last night and I was tired.
And then I did finally take a shower
and get out of my night gown
before Lloyd Dobbler came home.
But the main thing is,
I wrapped
1.4 million presents.
And they are all
down around the tree
even as we speak.
My three little elves
carried them down for me and arranged them.
And kept trying to get a peek at the stuff not yet wrapped.
Big E would come to the door and say
"Just tell me what Lovely K's presents are."
Do I look like I was born yesterday?

This morning the kids and Grandma made
sugar cookies and decorated them. I was supposed to do
my gingerbread cookies this afternoon,
but I couldn't do that from my bedroom.
Maybe I'll do them tomorrow
....if I'm not....you know....giving birth....



I'll let you know if I am.
After it's over, that is.
Don't expect a mid-labor post.
"Just sitting here at the hospital
pushing and breathing....
hoping you're enjoying the music
on our playlist....."
Yeah, I think I'll just wait until it's over
and tell you about it then.

But who's to say it will be tomorrow?

I'll let you know.

Play that funky music, white girl.

Well, I've done it again.
I am not the least bit surprised by this.
It happens every year.
I get enchanted with the Christmas music in the fall,
usually right after the county fair.
I play it and play it and play it.

I do get my money's worth.

But here it is ten days before Christmas
and just as I do every year about this time,
my love for the holiday music has grown cold.
It's like I just suddenly get my fill and I'm done.
I'm over it.
Everyone else may be fa-la-la-la-ing.
I'm ready to "rock and roll all night and party every day."
And I'll get getting the opportunity to do that
just as soon as this baby is born.
I've been listening to
my other lists on Playlist.
Right now it's Earth, Wind and Fire
singing "September."
And I love it.


I'm fixing to start my slow motion bathing ritual that I have developed in these days of bed rest. There's no jumping in the shower. Everything has to be done and planned and I feel like I make this announcement ("I'm getting in the tub!") in case somebody wants to check on 103 year old me. Today is another outing---doctor's appointment---with the high risk people at the hospital. Yesterday I felt good and last night I slept well. So maybe things are really under control.

Yesterday I saw a lady I have known since I was Lovely K's age. She has four kids. She was telling me that three of her four were born at 37 weeks and they all had extended stays in the hospital. I don't know if that was to keep an eye on their little border line lungs or if that's standard practice for babies born to mothers with gestational diabetes. We have never stayed long at the hospital. We weren't even there twenty four hours when Sweet T was born. The fourth of this lady's babies was born at 36 weeks and she said there was more of an issue with his lungs. She was encouraging me to keep the bun in the oven as long as I can. Hey, that's what I'm doing. That's why I'm practicing my walk for when I'm 103 years old and alerting other people in the house when I begin that dangerous activity of bathing.

I can't tell you how strange it is to be doing NOTHING in my own house. I do feel bad about it. My MIL is bustling around cooking and cleaning and doing all kinds of stuff. I am just lounging around. It's like I'm really joining in and making an effort if I fix drinks for the kids at dinner or wipe off a counter. It's just so strange.

The song now playing for me as I type is the festive favorite "Sweet Melissa" by The Allman Brothers Band. A holiday classic. What can I say? I reached my limit of Christmas songs. I'll be back in the mood next September.

Just another manic Monday....

Yes, Dear Reader, that's a song from your past....
but it's also a bit of irony.
Because I'm on bed rest.
So it's not manic.
Unless you're 103.
And then it's been
a very full day
and you are
ready for bed.

I'll tell you the very UN-bed resty thing I did today:
I went to eat lunch at Pizza Hut
with my MIL and my 3 babes.

It seems silly, but I felt like I was just "living on the edge"
or something. Taking some big risk.
Not obeying orders.
This shows you what a wild and crazy rebel I am.I'm out of control.
Being driven to a restaurant....
walking slowly inside....
eating quietly and slowly....
I even had a refill of my diet Pepsi.
Fasten your seat belts, girls.
I walked back out to the van too.

I am soooo Richie Cunningham.


But I did not in any way exert myself.
I mean, I walked into the place,
made about two trips to the buffet, and sat and ate.
It was not strenuous.
Unless you're 103.
And if you are 103,
you probably don't want to be
eating a lot of pizza
.....or giving birth.


It's a little after five as I am typing this
and it's completely dark outside.
Like middle of the night dark.
Lovely K is trying to practice her piano
and my MIL keeps interrupting her and telling her something.
I can't tell if she's giving her tips
(my MIL does not play the piano)
or fussing at her for striking the keys too hard.
There's something she's not happy about.
Just let her play and get it over with.
There's a reason it's called PRACTICE.
Is this why Lloyd Dobbler can't play the piano
after 12 years of lessons?
Did he have someone standing over him
making comments constantly.
I can tell by the way she's playing
that Lovely K is getting annoyed.


Tonight is the cookie exchange that the ladies at our church do. Guess who didn't bake nine thousand cookies and who isn't going to the cookie exchange? That would be me. I am out of all the holiday activities this year. I didn't get to have my annual Christmas party for parents of young children (we called it Silent Night--everyone has to ditch their off spring with a babysitter and we all pitch in on the food and we get to talk to each other without the side show of children). I'm thinking maybe I can do it in February or March. We'll see.


We are having that ham and cheese quiche for supper with steamed broccoli and a red pepper. This is a simple meal that is a staple here at the homestead. My MIL is adding fried potatoes to the mix. The kids love fried potatoes. I feel like I spend 50% of my day either planning my meals or my snacks or looking up carb counts. I'm tired of thinking about food. That's how I used to be all the time when I was skinny. Maybe I'll be so tired of food that I'll get skinny again after having this baby. I don't mean skinny like I was before I had any kids, when I never made into triple digits. I mean a more normal skinny.

I ordered our Christmas cards today.
It was a rather impromptu decision.
I'll pick them up tomorrow. I hope they turn out okay.
I just got tired of trying to think of what to do....so I ditched
all my ideas and just did something on-line with
Walmart and I'll start working on them tomorrow
afternoon when I pick them up
(on my way home from dr's appointment #1
out of the 3 scheduled for this week).
If you want one and I don't have your address,
you better send it to me.
Right now, I don't have any one's address
because I can't find my blue organizer that is biting the dust.
I had meant to replace it,
but I didn't want to have to replace it's contents.
Just it's tattered shell.
It has been the home and safe keeper
of addresses for years (easily 10, maybe more than that)
and I've done what I seem to be doing a lot lately:
I've put it somewhere very convenient.

Soooo convenient
that I can't remember where that place is.

I swear, I do this daily.
To important things.
And then they are never seen again.

It'll be nice to regain the full use of my brain.
And my body.


Happy Monday night, Dear Reader.
I hope all is well with you.
I'm off to drink water and eat Tums.
Catch you later.

Mid-day Meal

I have a question:
what do you feed your kids
for lunch?

Because I was just looking at the menu that
a blog lady posted for the week ahead
and I kept thinking "What?!?!"
when I would read what she had
planned for lunch
for her passel of children.

One day they are supposed to have
yogurt and jello.
Nothing else was listed.
Just yogurt and jello for lunch.

That's sounds more like what lunch would be
if my children planned the menu.
I just found this odd
and I thought I'd ask you about it.

I don't pretend to be a nutritionist.
We have Toaster Strudel
in our freezer right now.
Not that I think that's the worst thing to feed
children, but that's just something that would
horrify a more granola-type of mom.

I like the health food
and I like a little bit o'the junk too.

All things in moderation.

Of course, the last time I said
"all things in moderation"
to some one, that someone replied to me,
"Really? All things, Bell? What about meth?"

I think you know I'm not talking about that.
And I don't think you are serving your kids
yogurt and jello for a meal tomorrow.

Sunday morning, laying down

I like this picture too.

It just makes me smile for some reason.

Well, Dear Reader,
this is day #347 of bed rest
....isn't it?

Because it seems like it's been that long.
I think I would be enjoying this more
if I had my normal body
and could lounge around in nice Lucille Ball-type pajamas.
Instead I find myself sleeping in the stained maternity top
I wore all afternoon because I didn't need to make
the trek up stairs and I was tired of asking people
to get stuff for me.

Today I will try to actually use my stationary time
in a productive manner.
I have the choice of finishing my cross-stitch project
(which is a Christmas gift, by the way,
so why is that not a more pressing priority
with me right now? What am I thinking?
Isn't it like twelve days until Christmas?!?!)
OR I can start wrapping presents.
We don't have a single gift under the tree right now.
I haven't wrapped the first one.
I need to get on that.

Also? I am building this mental list of
things I want to eat
as soon as the cord is cut between my son and I.
The list grows every day.
I think everyone around me (including you)
knows that orange juice is the top of the list.
The good thing about the bed rest is that
I am not pouring glasses of OJ
for other people every day
and having to bite my lip to keep from
just throwing down the rest of the juice in the jug.

Orange Juice---I have missed you.

Yesterday Lloyd Dobbler had to run some errands.
My mother-in-law had taken the kids to the movies.
So instead of laying in the house alone,
I rode along with Lloyd Dobbler.
He had planned to get himself his favorite treat at Starbucks
on this little trip, but then said he'd cancel that plan
since I went with him.
He's been very conscientious about not eating
overly yummy stuff
in front of me---but I keep telling him to go ahead.
It's not making me crazy.

There is food everywhere,
on TV and recipes come pouring in the mail each day
and everyone is talking about making cookies
and baking all kinds of stuff.
(When I was hungry in the hospital this past week every commercial seemed to be about food and it was making me a little bit crazy---I wanted to eat everything I saw.)
It's Christmas.
And everyone wants that bounty of food
for the holidays.
I can't expect people not to want all that and I don't.
I'm the one on restrictions, not everyone else.
(I always find it annoying when people want to
impose their restrictions on others anyway)

So I insisted that he get his treat from Starbucks.
Do you know what they have right now
that I had forgotten about?
The Christmas treat that I LOVE LOVE LOVE
----the peppermint mocha frappucinno
(which has 60 carbs in the smallest size
---that's the amount of carbs I get in my
big carb meal of the day---should I skip lunch one day
and have just a peppermint mocha frappucinno?).
Oh man, those things are good.
I told Lloyd Dobbler that he could bring me one of those in the hospital.
Add that to my list.
He wondered if I was just going to turn into
some binging maniac once this baby is born.
I guess because I'm always saying
"I'm going to eat ________
as soon as the baby is born!"
that he has this mental picture of me running around
like the Tasmanian devil
eating everything in sight.

Oh, I didn't mean to be the big gripe-o-blogger today.
I really shouldn't complain about anything.
I have food to eat.
I have people taking care of me and my life.

I was thinking this morning about how amazing it is
that with all the craziness going on,
my kids probably don't realize that it's all that crazy
because things are being kept rather normal for them.
My MIL is just getting stuff done here at the homestead
and the kids are doing daily stuff like always.
Actually, it's probably a little better for them.
She has done a lot of their jobs so they haven't had
chores to do (almost at all) since she's been here.
They would not have been going to the movies yesterday
if she hadn't been here.
So there's no reason for me to feel like this stuff
is taking a toll on them.
Sure, we aren't actually getting to do much holiday stuff.
We aren't getting to go really anywhere.

This week I am whipping out the stack of Christmas coloring books and activity books and "learn to draw Christmas pictures" books. And I need to show the kids how to make paper chains; I have two packs of red and green paper waiting for this.

I feel like we watch Christmas movies every single night
and I am so sick of those (the kid ones).

How many times are The Santa Clause movies
going to be on TV?
Mercy!
Don't even get me started on those
Lifetime-type Christmas movies.
I can't even go there.
I'm sure my mother can give you a synopsis
of every story--and people must like them
because they make them as fast as they can.
If I had to watch one of them,
I would have a gun to my head within minutes.
I can't do those.

In other news:
I can't find my copy of White Christmas.

I think someone borrowed it from me.
I remember loaning it to someone,
but I can't remember who.
That is very annoying.
Of course now that I've said that, I'll find it.
Which will be fine.


I'd like to see Christmas in Connecticut with the mom
from Big Valley---what was her name?


There it is. Stanwyck.
She made some great movies in her youth.


Oh, Lloyd Dobbler just said he wanted to see
It Happened In Sun Valley.

Have you seen this movie? Glenn Miller is in it.
Before he died.
It's a cute movie.
I think the girl is Sonja Henney
or something like that.
She was some Norwegian ski champ, I think.
I had forgotten about that movie.
I'm sure Turner Classic Movies will show it sometime
---in the middle of the night.
Sigh.
Why do they do that?
They show stupid movies all day every day
and then the good stuff comes on at 2am.
So annoying.
That Ted Turner.

When Lloyd Dobbler and I were in The Big City
not long ago....I don't remember what the
occasion was....he took me to lunch at
Ted's Montana Grill,
the restaurant that Ted Turner owns.
That was like the favorite lunching spot of Lloyd Dobbler
and his former co-workers.
And it was really good.
I can see why they loved it.
I didn't order strange meat though.
(You can eat burgers of
buffalo and kangaroo and eagle there.)
I loved their pickles---oooh,
maybe it was those pickles that
set me on the road to ruin.
Maybe I can blame all these
pregnancy health problems
on Ted Turner.
I had no BP issues in this pregnancy
before eating there.
Never mind that it was weeks later
when the problems kicked in,
but surely it had something to do
with Ted Turner's pickles.
And his eco-friendly paper straws.



So.... enjoy your Sunday, Dear Reader.
My family is headed out the door to church
even as I type.
I thought I might manage to go to one service,
but it just isn't happening.
We have a roast in the oven---I smell 100 bay leaves.
And pepper. My MIL is a big fan of pepper.
I've been up since I took a shower
(meaning sitting up, not running around:
don't yell at me)
so it's time for me to be parallel to the floor again.
Have a wonderful day.

Where Everybody Knows Your Name

Remember a show in the 80's called
Cheers
about this bar where a handful
of regular people hung out?
I don't think I ever watched the show
when it was current,
but I have seen it in reruns since then.
The theme song talks about life being hard and that
"you want to go where everybody knows your name..."
They were talking about the bar being that place.
Well, I feel like that place for me recently has been
the maternity ward at our hospital.
Today I made the fourth trip there in a week.
The nurses recognize me now.
I was almost surprised
that someone didn't shout out "Norm!"
when I walked in today.

BUT today was the best visit so far
of any of the appointments
I have had in the past week.
I am so encouraged!
I haven't posted about all of this
because....well, I can't always get up stairs to
the computer.....but I'm here now.

I'm on bed rest and medication.


Between my dear Lloyd Dobbler
and his mom and my mom,
they are keeping a watch on me.
I kind of feel like all my adult privileges have been revoked.
I have to tell somebody before I do anything.
I even have to get up slowly--because of the meds--like I'm
practicing to be 98 years old.
And from time to time I feel like I am
about 98 years old.


But things have just shaped up
in a very positive manner
in the last twenty four hours.
I am feeling better
(I think the medication is responsible for that--it
messed me up at first, but now it seems to be
regulating stuff)
and everyone says I'm looking better
(like my coloring,
not that I've turned into a beauty queen).

And I am just so encouraged today.

Everything has been "on the bubble" for about a week.
Even Wednesday when I went to the doctor,
it was just like he kept waffling back and forth
as to whether or not he would take the baby.
I was so concerned about the earliness of that.
But each day this little bun stays in the oven
is better for him and more "peace of mind" for me.
(not to mention avoiding having to even think about labor!)
One of the doctors I saw even said if we could get me
and my craziness under control that we might make it
to 38 or 39 weeks.
I am wondering now if that might actually happen.
It seems now like it could.
And that would be so good.

So, I'm on bed rest.My mother-in-law has been here all week
and the laundry is done, the bathrooms are clean, meals have
been made, she's done all that stuff and more.
She is a good one to have around when you are in need.
I am very thankful for her willingness to help
us in this way. What a blessing to our family.

We stopped on the way home from the hospital
this morning and got a stack of movies for the
weekend. Just last night Lloyd Dobbler got the letters
of the baby's name hung above his bed.
I need to show you guys some
pictures of our little cowboy nursery.
It's cute.

I think we are ready.
We put our tree up Sunday afternoon
(I supervised from the couch).
I still haven't wrapped the first present,
but I can do that from a seated position.
I can't make up my mind about our Christmas card.
I keep thinking if the baby comes before Christmas
we can take a picture of all six of us
(Oh my goodness!
There's going to be SIX of us!)

that can serve as a
Christmas card AND a baby announcement.

We'll just have to see how things go.

That's kind of where we stand with everything, it seems.

I don't have definite answers.
I don't know what is going to happen.
I have to play everything day by day, hour by hour.

It's just so lovely that things are going well.
Well, I guess I can't really say
that things are going well, but compared
to how they have been, they seem a lot better.
Everything is relative, right?

Big E finished his required school work yesterday
and if Lovely K will get a move on it,
she can finish today
--and we can be done
with this first semester of school!
I'm really excited about that working out.
And my shopping is done and I got all the baby stuff
I needed to go buy before things got crazy.
I feel like we can sit back and relax and color Christmas
pictures and watch movies and just enjoy the season.
I just feel like even though we've had some craziness,
God has just made things smooth for us
even on this bumpy road.
I told you I am a spoiled rotten child of God.
And don't' think I"m not thankful for it.
I am!
I absolutely am full of thankfulness!

Is Laughter the best medicine?

I told you earlier about my day.

So tonight there was this little get-together of
about six girls that I went to high school with.
To be honest, it's a strange conglomeration of individuals.
None of us were bosom buddies back then
or really even part of the same tight little groups.
But one of them got the idea of us getting together.
I missed the first get-together because we were
out of town. But tonight was a little Christmas thing
and we were supposed to bring a gift and play dirty Santa.
At first, it wasn't that important to me,
but by this week, I was just really wanting to go
and see these girls and just participate.

I didn't know after the events of today about going
or not, but Lloyd Dobbler was fine with me going.
It wasn't far from my house so he drove me over there
and came back and picked me up in two hours.
I am sure the other girls are still there
laughing their heads off,
but I couldn't stay forever.
And I would have been
IN PAIN
if I had stayed too much longer.
You know, you can't just laugh and laugh and laugh
when you are hugely pregnant
without causing yourself some major discomfort.
I learned this tonight.
But it was nice to just chill out with these girlies
and enjoy it. I did laugh more than I have in
any one night in a long time.
I'm glad I went.

And Lloyd Dobbler was glad to be with the kids
this evening since he'd been gone all week
---although everyone in this house is soooo tired.
I hope the kids will sleep in a bit in the morning.
They need to.
We all need to.

They got the Christmas tree
this afternoon---after another cavity-free visit to the dentist
for the older two babes. I haven't seen it yet.
It's in the basement practicing for it's month-long
job that will start tomorrow. They said it's between
seven and eight feet and that it's more slim than fat.
Good.
That's what I was hoping for.

So tomorrow we have lots to do,
but it won't be crazy.
I'll be sitting and laying down a lot, I know that.
Me and the boys are going to my parents house
while Lloyd Dobbler and Lovely K go to see
The Nutcracker in The Big City.
I don't know which of them is looking forward to it more.
I'm glad they are having this special little date.
I'm really enjoying my husband and my children lately.
They are gifts from God

....and there will be another gift before we know it!

Romans 8:28 kind of day

Hello, Dear Reader.
How are you today?
I hope you are having a lovely day.

My day has been very full, and it's not over,
but it has been nice to see how
God just works everything out.
It has been one of those days when I just knew
He was orchestrating things. I told you before I am
a spoiled rotten child of the King
and that is so true.
I am so thankful for His help and comfort and protection.
I am so blessed that He keeps me and blesses me
and steers me out of the way of harm and danger
and disaster and pain.
Not that He has to or that I expect Him
to always do this, but I have to say that God has not
caused me to stand in the fire very much.
I have passed through it,
but I haven't had to stand there and suffer
for long periods of time as others often do.
I am so thankful for this.

So...I had to go to the hospital today
and have myself and my constantly dancing baby
monitored for a little while. My blood pressure had gone up
quite a bit and they just wanted to check stuff.
But amazingly enough, once I got there and got hooked up,
my BP was great.
Well, maybe not great,
but GOOD compared to what it had been.
They monitored us for a while and released me.
I talked to my doctor on the phone while I was there.
He said I am UNofficially on bed rest.
I don't really know what that means,
but trust me, between Lloyd Dobbler and my mother,
I'm not going to be out chopping wood or plowing the fields.
('cause that was really on my list
of things to do this weekend:
#1 chop wood
#2 plow fields)
And my mother-in-law may come.
I hate for anyone to come or help or anything
with the shape my house is in.
I'd like to have everyone believe that it's a layer
of decorative snow (in keeping with the season)
everywhere in the house,
not an inch of dust on every possible flat surface.
But what can I say?
It's been a rough couple of months
and cleaning has not been at the top of my list.
(When is cleaning ever at the top of my list?)

Today's Super Hero award goes to
a local Dear Reader who saved my bacon this morning.
When I called my doctor to tell them what was going on,
in my mind I thought they would tell me to come
to the office and "fill a cup"
for them and let them take my BP
and asses the situation.
That's what I expected and I already thought I'd just
take the kids with me and it would be fine.
And then when the nurse told me I needed to go to the
hospital and that I should be prepared in case they
admitted me, well, that was not in keeping with
the plan in my head.
And I'm sitting there at home with three small children.
My husband was in The Big City.
My parents had gone to The Big City for the day.
I immediately thought of two people
who I knew I could count on
(isn't it great to have people you just know
will help when you really need them!?!?!) :
my lovely and wonderful friend, Mrs. JP
and my ever-faithful little brother.
She came to watch my kiddos
(and she makes everything fun and good for them,
bless her heart, and they just love her)
and my brother drove me.
I am just so thankful for both of them.
I knew that they would help me if at all possible
and that I'd be in good hands, nothing to worry about,
when they were helping out.
I hope all of you have people like that in your life.
I hope I didn't mess up the day for either one of them.

And now I am home with just my little Sweet T and myself.
Lloyd Dobbler has taken the other two babes
to the dentist and to pick up a Christmas tree
....so there should be pine needles of some kind
on the living room floor before the night is through.
But that's okay. We are just going to
keep doing the next thing here....
I'll be doing it from a seated position....and
we are just going to slowly
and steadily plod through
this holiday season......It's going to be great.
It's all going to work out and we are just going to praise God
for His care and blessings in our lives.
Even with these little scuffles of stress in our lives,
we are blessed beyond measure.
I hope I never lose sight of that.

Baby Steps

It is very cold here tonight.
Very cold.
And remember who is saying this---very pregnant Bell
who is always hot. I actually took a coat with me today.
I didn't put it on because it just wasn't worth
lugging the thing through the stores.
I made the dash from van to store without freezing.

My dear Lloyd Dobbler is home.
He had been out of town on business all week.
He got in tonight just a little before we did.
He had tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches
ready for us once we got everything and everyone
in the house and settled.
Isn't he a nice guy to have around?

He had a very unpleasant day today.
Yesterday a friend who he worked with years ago called him
and wanted to go to lunch. He didn't know Lloyd Dobbler was
out of town. Lloyd Dobbler told him he'd call him later
and they'd set it up for when he was back in town.
Well, later yesterday, a little after the time they would have
been together if Lloyd Dobbler had been in town and
available for lunch, the friend had a massive heart attack
and died.
We were so shocked.
It is a comfort to know that this friend was a very strong,
dedicated Christian. But when it happens like that,
so out of the blue,
it just hits you like a ton of bricks anyway.

Since I didn't have to go to
the crazy doctor's appointment today,
we did school this morning and this afternoon
my mother and Lovely K and I went shopping.
I purchased the things I was stressing over....so we now
have a car seat and a diaper bag and a bathtub thing
and a few other items.

They no longer make the wonderful thing
(organizer or whatever it's called)
you put on the end of your changing table
to hold the wipe warmer and a pile of diapers
---or at least not that I have found.
The one I had before was so great,
it was this clear plastic and it was just wonderful.
But it can't be found.
So I had to purchase this stinky white one today.
I'm going to pull it out and strap it onto the changing table
here in a minute
and if it's just too gross,
I'll take it back.
But I've got to have something to put
the wipe warmer on.
I've always used the wipe warmer.
I don't know why that is so important to me.
I mean, it's not like it is SO IMPORTANT,
but I have always used it.
I just want warm wipes
for my baby's little end.

But I'm just staying, I'm getting prepared.
I even ordered this baby
his monogrammed stocking today to match the rest of ours.

We're getting there.
I'm trying to not stress out about things
and my lovely mother and my lovely husband are trying to
keep me from stressing out.

be still, my heart

...or at least be a little slower.


Yesterday I had the first appearance
of a little annoying stunt my body likes to pull
at the end of pregnancies---
high blood pressure.
I have been so thrilled this entire pregnancy
with the normal BP readings I'd had
(especially after the great health mystery
we experienced in the beginning of this year....
If you recall, they had me taking BP medicine
until I got pregnant.
I got off the meds, on the pregnancy,
and had excellent readings....until yesterday).

It was a little bit high at the doctor's office
and they seemed more alarmed
than I thought they ought to be.

It was later, when I got home, that I started getting
a bit of the headache and my BP rocketed to the sky.
I don't know if my reading was accurate, because I was
doing it myself since I was home alone right then.
My mom took it when she brought the kids back later.
It was less than what I had read,
but still higher than what it had been at the dr's office.
I took a bath and laid around and rested.
This morning she took it again, first thing,
before I was even up and roaming around.
It was much lower.
So that was a good thing.

Let's pray that it stays down.

Let's pray that your dear faithful Bell will
chill out
and quit worrying about the things that are
not done or made or bought or whatever.
Let's remind Bell that a baby can be born
to a woman with a dirty house
and seventeen baskets full of UNironed clothes.
And if no gingerbread men cookies get made this year,
we can still have Christmas.
Let's point out to Bell that she is not in control.
She thought she had really aced the whole
"relax and trust God" situation just a few weeks ago.
Apparently not.
That's not the whole reason for the higher BP,
but I do believe that's part of it.

Big Girl Pants and Adult Powers

Maybe you have heard somebody say
that they are going to put on their "big girl pants" and go
and do whatever it is they have to get done.
A phrase that my childhood buddy and I would use
in much the same way was to say that
we were "using our adult powers."
Well, I kind of feel like I used my adult powers today
while wearing my big girl pants
(let's face it--the only pants I can wear right now
are big girl pants--have you seen me lately?).
It wasn't that I did anything miraculous,
but I just decided that I was going to say
"This is what I want"
and unless there was a good reason
why it couldn't be that way,
it was going to be that way.

The bottom line is this:
I don't have to go anymore to the stooges in College Town
that I had to start going to when I was first diagnosed
with gestational diabetes. I cannot tell you how happy
that is making me. I don't have to go to them
tomorrow or any other time.
Hallelujah!

I also left the doctor's office today
with this big revelation breathing down my neck:
I am going to have a baby.
It's not like I haven't known that,
but it seemed so real today.
I need to get ready!
I am so not ready.
I've got to get some stuff done.
Thankfully we have only about a week of school left.
Got to get through that.
And I have most of the stuff I need.

It is taxing my brain that I don't have a diaper bag.
Not that this is some great tragedy, but I've got to get
one. I looked at a couple of places on my way home today
but couldn't find one to my liking. I know I'll be carrying it
around with me everywhere so I want one that I like.
I think my mom and I are going shopping tomorrow
in place of the canceled doctor's appointment
and I hope to get a diaper bag....and a wipe warmer....
and some burp clothes and all the other stuff
that I keep thinking I need to get.
I need to get this stuff out of the way
because I don't want to be
hugely pregnant me
out battling Christmas crowds
when I'm trying to get baby necessities,
not holiday treats.

Well, I just thought I'd get on here and let you guys see me giving myself a pat on the back. It's not like I had to wrestle the doctor to the ground and put him in a choke hold to get him to see my point of view. He listened and understood and now things are going to be better. He did tell me, looking at the log where I write down my BG and what I've been eating, that Thanksgiving and my birthday are over and I need to keep doing like I'm doing on the days when I stick to the diet so well. In other words, I'll need George to order me a big salad.

My soul--the wind is blowing like crazy tonight. I mean it is making these howling noises that seem like sound effects for a movie, not reality. My mom had told me they are threatening us with snow flurries tonight, but I don't see it happening. It's too warm.

Have a lovely day, Dear Reader.
Don't forget to put on your big girl pants
and let your voice be heard!