Too Much Information

There's no real rhyme or reason to the things I share with you guys. I don't know why I chose to write about somethings and not others. Some trivial things I write about to the point where you might think they are huge things. Some huge things I don't mention. I sat down here tonight thinking I wouldn't write anything at all, but then I decided to. Not that I have any earth-shattering news to tell. It's just me, your faithful Bell, and my ordinary days. And since there are only 1.5 readers anyway.....what harm is there for me to actually empty the contents of my head? I just hope I'm not going to be breaking any HIPPA laws or whatever those regulations are.

I've been seeing this doctor....
That makes it sound like I'm about to confess that I'm having an affair. Let me re-word that: I've been going to this doctor as a patient. You remember the recent flurry of medical activity in my life. The migraine, the blood pressure, the heart stuff. Everything has been smoothed out except that I've had to go to this blood doctor. Because of my thick blood. I think I've told you about that.

(nod your head)

Oh good. So I will just skip on to today. I went in with a few questions written down so I wouldn't have that blank mind syndrome again at this visit. But the first thing that the doctor said when he came in was that the thing I thought was the major thing had settled down. The levels had slipped their little selves back into the normal range and he was pleased with that. But then he started pointing out to me these other levels of things that were not where they were supposed to be. He has mentioned these to me before and, you know what? I am a homeschooling mother of three. I was an English major in college. I hate science and I am the least likely person in the world to work in the medical field or actually have any medical knowledge. So if Blood Doctor thought mentioning these levels to me was going to cause red flags in my mind, I'm sure he's very disappointed. I hadn't given them a second thought. I was all happy about the one thing getting under control. I thought he was saying "class dismissed" and I was ready to gather my books and run out into the playground. So then he starts to tell me that these other skewed levels are indicators of a certain kind of myeloma. And that's what he's going to check on in the 45 gallons of blood they pumped out of me today. Either these tests will point toward the myeloma and then we will have to do a bone marrow test (I can't tell you how UNinterested in that I am) OR they will NOT point toward the myeloma and then I can stop seeing this doctor. So I left them with my blood and I go back next week.

I'm not freaking out or anything. I have a friend who I cannot even tell about this situation because she would be telling everyone that I have cancer and that I need meals brought to me and just whatever you would do if you OVER REACTED to something. I don't expect bad results to come from this. But I have to say that I realize nobody probably expects bad results. Remember how I was kind of freaked out that first visit to this doctor because nobody told me he was in oncology? And every time I go there, I still get the sympathetic looks from people who think I have one foot in the grave. I certainly hope they are thinking to themselves "She looks so good; you'd never know she was sick." But today the words came out of the doctor's mouth that what he is looking for is cancer. That was kind of a sobering thing to hear. He doesn't expect it to be that, but that's what he's looking for. And I've got to tell you, that's certainly not what I am expecting it to be. But you know what? If it is, then it is. God is sovereign. A little bit ago I started to pray "don't let it be cancer, Lord" and before I even said it, I felt convicted in my heart that that was NOT the thing to be praying. What I need to be praying, and what I did pray, is "Thy will be done."

So....I probably shouldn't have written this. I don't really think it matters. So what if 1.5 people who read my blog know about this? It's not anything. I had blood drawn. That's what I could have said, that one sentence (I had blood drawn) and that would have been all that needed to be said. But when have I ever kept my mouth shut about what is going on in my life? Never. And why should I start now? And besides, this makes me feel like I have told someone and that's kind of a therapeutic thing.

In other news: I took my kids to Farm City Day today. This is something put on by the Farm Bureau and 4H and various agriculture-related groups in the area. I think the general idea of it is to show kids who might not otherwise be exposed to it, the world of agriculture and what all it can include. My kids had fun. My parents went too because it was their idea to go and because I had to leave at lunch time to go to the aforementioned doctor. So I touched sheep and pigs and who knows what else today. Saw Smokey the Bear (and did you know the forestry guys don't call him "Smokey the Bear"? They call him "Smokey Bear." It was really bugging me that they don't say the THE. I've always heart it like that!). I wish I'd had a camera to capture Superbaby when Smokey THE Bear walked out. It was precious.

Remember that: ONLY you. No one else. It's all on you.

Tomorrow is Friday! Hello weekend. So glad to see you coming. Right this way.

Hope it's a great one for you!

The Caterpillar

What other men

Somehow knew

I have had to learn

Like a curious caterpillar

crawling over every branch,

inspecting every leaf,

Lost in a world of my own making

And crying my caterpillar tears

softly.

Dreams

What do you dream about?

Do you have this one burning passion that has been your lifelong dream? Something you think about all the time and dream of? Like tap dancing on the stage of Carnegie Hall? Or having a private meeting with Fidel Castro? (better hurry up on achieving that odd dream, the clock is ticking) Or maybe you dream of becoming famous for your pottery or your poetry or your lemon meringue pie. Or maybe you dream of walking down the street in Nashville and meeting Jason Mraz (could I be with you when that dream comes true?). Maybe you dream of playing professional hockey in Switzerland.
I don't know what you dream of...that's why I asked.

I felt the stirrings of a dream formulating on the horizon recently. Yesterday I got a good look at the dream. I actually picked it up and named it as my dream. I have thought about it a great deal since then. I have to tell you, though, it's kind of like the wishes children make when they blow out their birthday candles: I can't tell you what it is or might not come true. But it's there now and it brings a smile to my face and a warmth to my heart.

It's lovely to have a dream, isn't it?
To have something you are working through in your head, asking yourself all those questions: how do I do it? what steps do I take to get on that path? will this really work? am I crazy?

Having a dream is like having a little piece of hope to put in your pocket. Every now and then you can slip your hand in your pocket and slide your fingers across the smooth surface of that dream. Maybe nobody even knows it's there but you, but you know it. You hold onto that dream like a precious treasure because that's exactly what it is to you. It's your vision of a better life, a completed picture of the things you want.

Are you working on your dream?
Are you taking tap dances and perfecting your lemon meringue pie recipe?
Are you stepping up your hockey game or pricing tickets to Cuba?

Are you doing anything to make your dream come true?

Three Year Old Kisses

This morning at church

when I was dropping Superbaby off for Sunday school,
he waited until I was walking away and then
darted after me, saying,
"Mom! Wait!
I forgot to give you a hug and a kiss."
While I gladly accept hugs and kisses
from the babes anytime,
I knew this was only offered as a stall tactic.
He loves his class and his teacher but
that initial going into the room
is something he isn't very eager about.
An elderly lady was passing by
at that time and she stopped
and said to me,
"You better soak that up. That won't happen for very long."
I actually said to her,
"I think it's just his way of stalling going into his class"
and she said to me,
"I don't care what it is, you soak it up.
It'll be gone before you know it."


I was just thinking about this a minute ago,
laying in bed with Superbaby.
This woman has grown children,
grown grandchildren even.
She has great grandchildren.
I wondered if seeing Superbaby run up and give me
a precious little boy hug and a three year old kiss
made her remember when her boys,
who are great big men now,
were little guys like that
who loved their mother and gave her kisses.

My goodness, the time does slip away, doesn't it?

I'm so thankful that I have been home with my children,
I have been able to spend every day with them.
No one is with them more than I am.

Some days I say that with a sigh
and wish that somebody would
come and be with them so I could
go someplace and scream,

but I am so thankful that I am able to be with them.
Sometimes it seems like I will be forever stuck in this stage of life,
but in the back of my mind I always know that
this is temporary.
Every day these children are growing.
We're out of diapers already
(unless another baby shows up).
This year we took the baby bed down
for the first time in nine years.
We have kids who have lessons and meetings.
This is how it begins.
My friend the other day was talking about her two oldest
children in college and how she was helping #3 as he did
some college shopping and it just made me realize
that that is where we are headed.
These birds will not be in this nest forever.
What things we want to do with our children,
we better be doing it now.
I am so thankful for my children.
May I never be too busy to stop
and let little arms circle around my neck.
May I never miss a single kiss.

Happy Campers

This weekend was a first ever camping trip for Lloyd Dobbler and Big E with the Scouts. They left Friday afternoon and came home Saturday evening. They had a lovely time and nothing crazy happened. No children lost in the wilderness or eaten by bears. Lloyd Dobbler used to go camping with his family. He and his dad and brother even did one of those things where you are dropped off somewhere with a canoe and your stuff and you have to get yourself out of there.

I'm going to tell you something that may cause you to gasp. Some people do gasp and shrink back in something akin to horror and disbelief when they learn this about me. Here it is, the big revelation: I have never been camping. Now if you are similar to me, you are not gasping in response. Not everyone goes camping, you know. And it's not that I am opposed to camping. If people want to go sleep on the hard ground in plastic tents and roast marshmallows as far away from civilization as possible, who am I to stop them? Let them go. And I guess I would go if the right situation arose, but it never has. So I've never gone.

I do have to say though, I like modern conveniences. I like indoor plumbing. I like taking a nice warm shower after being in the great outdoors getting dirty and sweaty. I like having access to a toilet and toilet paper and a sink. I like air conditioning. The hotter the weather, the more I love air conditioning. Lloyd Dobbler has always said that my idea of camping is leaving the window open in the hotel. I'm not that bad. I mean, I'm not a city girl or anything. I have used an out house before in my life. I'm just not signing up to do these sort of things. Maybe I just need somebody to show me how much fun it is because while people say that it is fun, it doesn't look like fun. I can think of better things to do than get sunburned and lost and have animals steal my food and break out in poison ivy.

While those two guys were out camping with the ever prepared Scouts who leave no trace of their whereabouts, I took my self and my daughter and my baby to the Relay for Life event at our local fair grounds. This is basically an annual fund raiser for the American Cancer Society. My mother has participated in this and helped with it ever since she was diagnosed with cancer several years ago.

(Man, that seems so long ago
---how much water has passed
under the bridge since that time!)

This event is an all night thing for the "teams" who are raising money and doing all these activities. They sell all kinds of stuff and have entertainment and such. We always go but I always have Lloyd Dobbler with me who thinks our children will turn into pumpkins if they are ever out late, so this year was different. Superbaby took a very late nap---in fact, I had to wake him up at 7:30 so we could go over there. We got there around 8:00 and left at midnight. It was a beautiful night, clear sky and perfect temperature. The kids had a good time. There was one of those blow up bouncing things for kids to jump in. You paid one price and got this bracelet and you could jump all night long. They had the best time in that thing. They could have done it all night long too.

So Saturday afternoon I decided to make a yummy dinner

for the fam. We had grilled chicken and roasted garlic potatoes

with Parmesan cheese,
seven layer salad,
Texas Caviar with chips,
and a homemade pound cake
with fresh strawberries.
It was the perfect meal
for my hungry men returning from
the wild (---except the seven layer salad.
Lloyd Dobbler loves the seven layer salad
but Big E only eats it under duress).

It was one of those meals that seemed to
take me forever to make, but the whole time

I was thinking

"This is going to be good.
This is going to be good!"

And it was.

Today the stomach bug had been crawling all over my Lovely K. Poor child. I had nursery duty today and Lloyd Dobbler brought her to me before church started because she kept complaining of not feeling well. A few minutes later, the volcano erupted spewing lava all over the place if you know what I mean. And I think you do. And Lovely K is not one to make a mess when she is sick if it can at all be avoided. She was like this when she was just a tiny kid. Very neat about it, even if horribly sick.

There were only three clients in the nursery today so my friend who was in there working with me helped evacuate them to the fellowship hall while Lloyd Dobbler and I cleaned up the mess. We really had to clean it too. Scrub brushes and Lysol and the whole deal. I was so horrified that it happened in the nursery of all places. I hope those other children do not catch anything.

And what a lovely story to share.
How beautiful and encouraging and inspirational.
I mean, how many times this week am I going to tell you
about the bodily functions
or mis-functions
of my family?
What elegance. What sophistication.
Hey---these are the things that happen
on Ordinary Days.

You want beauty and inspiration?
Try the Sistine Chapel!

Annoyed?

I hope those critters
screaming about coffee
are not driving you away.
They make me laugh.
Earlier they annoyed me
and I was going to get rid of them,
but I didn't.
And now they make me laugh.
See how things evolve.

Clouds in my Coffee

We're friends, right?

So I can talk to you
and you will sift out the chaff
from my griping
and venting
and silliness
and keep only the true glimpses of who I am.
You're not going to think I am crazy
or judge me
for something I say under the stress of the dailies.
We all have our moments.
I understand that.
I think you understand that too.

This is the second night this week I have been up with a puking boy. It's not some big horrible illness. It's been very mild. It's just the first night it was the boy who thinks he is going to die or in some way explode if he allows himself to be sick. I used to have to physically hold this child in the bathtub (like a police man holding down the eighth most wanted criminal) when he was ill just to keep him from twirling and hosing down every wall and every surface around him. It was crazy. He's getting a little better. He still thinks he's going to die and gets so upset.

And it always has to happen in the middle of the night.
Why is that?

The day after I was up with him, I remember remarking to Lloyd Dobbler that our baby had never really had to deal with that. He spit up as a baby, yes, of course. My children were all highly skilled at that as infants. But since he's been a child he has not been sick in that way. There's just not a whole lot of puking going on in this household. It's a rare thing. And it was a first for Superbaby.
(I'm trying to not to be too gross in discussing this
---I could use much more colorful language!)

Well, last night Superbaby got inducted into

the vomit hall of fame.

It did freak him out a bit because he didn't know what was happening. He's just a little guy. I am happy to report that he was not a spastic lune when sick--- like the aforementioned child. He handled it like a trooper and after a couple of rounds he seemed to understand the importance of aiming for the toilet.

(You won't get conversation like this
on your political blogs,
now will you?)

It was a long night. I slept in there with him which meant I didn't really sleep. You mothers know how this is. So this morning I felt the need for coffee. With caffeine. I should tell you that have stopped buying cokes to have here at the house and I did feel like I was going through detox there for a few days. I still want one from time to time, and I'm not restricting myself from them. I'll have them at restaurants or someone else's house. But if I don't have them here at the house and I'm home 90% of the time, that should help me a great deal in the cutting back on soft drinks. I used to have at least one can of coke a day.

And by the way,
it's Coke, not Pepsi.

Sometime I will tell you my theory about smokers and soft drinks and you can provide me with data to back up my theory. But not today.

So.... coffee. Yes. I wanted coffee. And I made some coffee. Or tried to. My little coffee maker died. It was a sad scene. Coffee grounds were trickling out of the corner of its mouth. It gurgled. I felt for a pulse and decided I better turn the thing off before the house caught fire.

No coffee for the Bell today.

And do you know what all this is making me think? As if it were related....but it's not. But here's what I am thinking as I sit here, tired and without coffee:

I really want a camera.

I can't tell you how many times a day I am thinking this.

I'll be walking through the dining room and wish I could take a picture just to capture the moment. I see my children looking particularly lovely and want to save the memory. I do things....like witness the death of a faithful old coffee maker....and I want to share it with you. You remember last summer, don't you?

When I was showing you what I was cooking and what I was doing, anything and everything.
I miss that.
I enjoyed that.
I want to do that again.

Must get a new camera.

I have been very patient. But I feel like I am missing opportunities with my children. I am missing just the pleasure of trying to capture a beautiful shot. I don't call it a hobby since I'm not on the level of some of you who are truly good photographers, but I am so thankful for the digital age when even a mentally-challenged person like myself can take good pictures.

AND if I am really going to work
with the yearbook staff at our home school co-op,
I need a good camera.
See, it's a need. Not just a want.
I'm surprised I'm able to make it through the day
without one.

See that one person standing there with
no camera
in his hand?
That's me.



Well, as usual, I am a big goober for griping.
Boo hoo.
I don't have something I want.
Well poor old me.

How silly.
What do I possibly have to complain about?
I have been blessed beyond measure.
See how complex I am---
whining because I want something
and yet thankful
because I know I am
a spoiled rotten child of The King.

A good friend of mine just called and brightened my day. I am so thankful for my friends. Good Christian friends. Aren't they the best? Someone to laugh with and cry with and pray with. This gal that just called me is probably one of the newest names on my roster of friends. But she is so great. She is an amazing person and I learn so much from her. She's the one who runs marathons. Isn't that great? I should be more like her.

Well, dear reader, I don't know what the purpose of this post was. I think I need to:
#1 Get dressed
#2 Go get a coffee or a Route 44 Caffeinated something
#3 Get started with all the great plans I had for this day

By the way, I ironed 3.5 literal mountains
of clothing last night.
I thought you would want to know.

The Blades of Grass

The Blades of Grass
by Stephen Crane

In Heaven,
Some little blades of grass
Stood before God.
“What did you do?”
Then all save one of the little blades
Began eagerly to relate
The merits of their lives.
This one stayed a small way behind,
ashamed.

Presently God said,
“And what did you do?”
The little blade of grass answered, “Oh my Lord,
Memory is bitter to me,
For, if I did good deeds,
I know not of them.”
Then God, in all His splendor,
Arose from His throne.
“Oh, best little blade of grass!” He said.

To Do List

I go through spells of trying to get things organized and scheduled. I have done pretty good at it a few times in the past. But....and here comes a confession....I have not had one of those good times since two major life changes. I have not felt like I was really on top of things since the birth of our fabulous Superbaby and the creation of this new house. You would think I would have adjusted after all this time. Superbaby is three now and we have been in this house just barely two years.

Some people will say "you seem so organized" sometimes and my gut response is to ask them if they are drunk. I feel like I'm not, though I guess to some I would seem that way. Doesn't everything depend on what you compare yourself to? You might feel poor until you look at those in the world who are truely poor and you realize how wealthy you are. Maybe that's the problem. Who am I comparing myself to? Who am I listening to? Who is putting pressure on me?

The times I felt like I had it somewhat together in the past, I look back now and see those as such easy times. Before we started up the home school machine, my days were so much easier. And life with small children can be hard in one sense, but for me there was also this sense where it was easy to have little people who were on such a faithful schedule that included daily nap times and early bedtimes.

Sometimes it's hard for me to nail down what exactly my expectations are. I don't expect perfection despite the pressure some people might give for things to be that way. But what do I expect? I'm not a highly skilled multi-tasker. I thrive in simplicity. But simplicity is so hard to maintain.

I feel like I am looking at a variety of paths and can't decide which one to travel down. All the paths I am considering are "roads less traveled" compared to what is considered "normal life" in our society today. I don't know that I have ever been mainstream. I have my own drum, you see, and I walk to the beat of it. And I have always prayed that God would lead me in a plain path, give me clear directions. But I feel like I'm just kind of standing around not knowing what to do in some areas of my life. I want to move forward. I want to grow and change and not stay where I am. I just don't know what steps to take. And I don't seem to be getting any direction. So I'm waiting and wondering and looking around. What am I waiting for exactly? Do I even know?

Is this making any sense to anyone?

“Have nothing

in your house
that you do not know to be

useful
or believe to be

beautiful.”

-William Morris

Gettin' Down on the Farm

For those of you who
must have been too distracted
by the picture of shoes that I did not buy or wear
on the April 12th post,

let me tell you again that
we have chickens.
Poultry.
Those who make eggs.
Birds of a feather.
And they are flocking together.
In our barn.
We have chickens.

We got these five ladies last Saturday so we've had them
for a week now. Lovely K and Big E just love going to check for eggs
(or as I am going to call it,
much to your annoyance
and that of every farm-type woman
who hears me say this,
"pick the eggs"
---why do I enjoy saying that?
I don't know. It takes so little to amuse me).

Much effort seems to go into me telling Lovely K and Big E that they can go and do this (do what? pick the eggs!) and at the same time not letting Superbaby know what they are doing or see them go to do it. It's like this unsurpassed joy to them to get to pick the eggs. And it throws a certain little one into the depths of despair not to be allowed to go on this blessed pilgrimage.
I just can't trust that child
out in the barn area without an adult.
Too many dangers for him.
He's just fearless and blissfully ignorant. A day with him is like walking around with a hand grenade, pulling the pin in and out, in and out. You never know what's going to happen.

Going to our barn right now is kind of a mess for anyone anyway.
Lloyd Dobbler has attempted to plant grass in our yard
(the same stubborn yard that is determined to be a
grass-less wasteland).
So we have all this worked up dirt that has been rained on many times. What I am saying is, we are surrounded by mud. There's like this twenty foot swath of mud in a circle all around the house. And you can't get to the barn without going through it.
You can see here what a mess was encountered
when some of our Republican friends came by:


Yesterday Lloyd Dobbler calls me on his way home from Tractor Supply and tells me how hard it was for him to leave there without buying a bunch of baby chicks. I don't know why that was a temptation. We just got five chickens. Do we really need more right now? He loves the chickens. He would have Old MacDonald and the animals from 12 verses of that song all living here with us right now if he could. My friend told me this week that Lloyd Dobbler is turning into the guy from Green Acres and that that is making me be Zsa Zsa Gabor. I guess I'm going to have to buy some more high heels and a feathered boa and some large, flashy diamonds.

I'm so not the Zsa Zsa Gabor type.


In other news:
Are you a good person for giving counsel?
A helpful listener? A problem solver?
I try to be when the need arises. There are certain people in my life that come to me, and I try to be helpful and right in the things I say to them. There were two instances this week where I don't think I did very well. In fact, just last night I had to tell this one friend that I was not the person she needed to come to with her problem. I totally saw her side and thought her husband needed a good swift kick in the pants, but I didn't want to say that to her. I didn't want to fuel the fire of her aggravation with her husband. I don't want to breed discord in someone else's marriage.
Have you ever had to turn someone away like that? I tried to point her in a good direction (to our pastor and his wife) and tell her to avoid family members who just want to control situations. And you know what it all comes down to?
Money.
I hate money.
I hate what money does to people.
And I hate what the lack of money does to people.
I just hate money.

I used to hate water chestnuts.
But I got over that.
Not that I want to sit down and eat
a can of water chestnuts now,
but I no longer pick them out of my spinach dip.
I have grown as a person.

I have a Saturday with the potential of being a wonderful day. No ballgames or practices. No appointments. No meetings. No family-get-togethers. No birthday parties. No visitors. Just a lovely blank day. I can get caught up on some things, get prepared for the week ahead. Maybe finally get to the library or sand than desk I need to get painted. It's like a big chunk of freedom and possibility, having this day with no commitments.
What am I doing sitting her in my pj's?

Hello, you lovely reader, you! How are you?

I was just thinking---wouldn't it be funny if I suddenly started posting all serious commentary on the political/ financial activity (or lack thereof) going on in our country and the world? Because heaven knows there's not enough blogging about that. Well, don't get excited. My views on matters such as that are about as valuable as my views on anything else. You won't be getting page after page of ranting about socio-economic matters.

In breaking news tonight we have this just in---my family had breakfast for supper tonight (because it was late and that seemed like the fastest idea). We ate the eggs that have come from our happy little chickens so far. I don't know what I expected, but no one seemed to notice anything different about the eggs. The kids seem to enjoy trotting out to the coop and "picking" the eggs. I know that's not the correct term. I should be saying "gathering" or something like that, but I to say "picking the eggs" and so that's what I am going to say. And you can't stop me.

Went to the doctor again today. I don't know what the difference is in my brain functions inside that office and outside it. I honestly ask the questions that come to mind when I am there. It's after I leave, when I am driving down the road and calling my husband to give him the lowdown, that I begin to think like a normal person. Then I have all these questions. Lloyd Dobbler was very aggravated about that today. He wants to come to the next visit.

One thing my little friendly doctor said today was that he didn't think we should check my bone marrow right now. I perked up at this. Of course we shouldn't. We should never do that. I've heard how painful anything related to bone marrow can be. I'd like mine to be left alone, thank you. And since we said he didn't want to do it, I didn't say anything about it. Guess who asked me, "Did you ask him why he might want to check your bone marrow?"

I don't know if I told you this or not, but this particular doctor works out of an oncology place. My little heart skipped a beat when I first went there. I wondered what they were looking for. But he's just a blood specialist and that's where he works out of. Today just as the first time I visited, I felt like saying to every single person in that place, "I don't have cancer." Because everyone looks at you with that sad sighing look: "She's so young." I don't have cancer! At least, not that I know of! So don't put me on your e-mail list for support and encouragement.

I had other things to tell you, but it's late and I'm tired. I'm not even going to insert pictures here today. I'm tired. We have co-op in the morning which means I have to get up and get to scootin' my boot right away. I am sooo not a morning person. Words can describe how much I hate mornings. I have been that way all my life. I was a grumpy baby in the mornings. Just as my mother.

Elisabeth Elliot's father was famous for keeping early morning hours. He got up ridiculously early and did all kinds of things before most people were opening their eyes. When people asked him how he did this, his pat answer was "It starts the night before." I think of that sometimes. Maybe I would be a nicer person in the a.m. if I wasn't such a wonderful, life-of-the-party, bring it on kind of person at night.

Whatever. I'm going to bed. Goodnight.

Do you get this?

Return of the Auto Crooner

Earlier today I asked Big E where Superbaby was.
He told me that he was upstairs
in the bonus room
"pretending to eat his pretend breakfast."
I wondered if that works like
two negatives making a positive.
If you are
pretending
to eat pretend food.....
what is really happening?

Somewhere in my tiny town is lady whose hands smell like lilacs (I think she's actually laying on a massage therapist's table right now). Have you ever heard the old saying that "A bit of scent lingers to the hand that gives you roses"? Well, my lovely friend brought me a vase full of lilacs today and they smell so good. Man! Do they smell good! Wasn't that sweet of her to just drive by and throw flowers at us?

THANKS!!!

The other thing that I am loving in my house today is the radio station that I have playing both upstairs and down. It is so hard to pick up this radio station in my house, but today I just really wanted to have it on so I brought one of the kids' radios downstairs and have it rigged up in the dining room in the best way I know how to pick up this particular station. What we are listening to is BBN Radio. Have you ever heard of this station? I'm listening to it on-line right now while I'm on the computer. Lloyd Dobbler and I both love this radio station. We hear songs on here that we heard growing up. It is music you won't hear anywhere else. They even tell you not to call in asking about the music because a lot of it is just not available anywhere. You'll hear the old Haven of Rest Quartet (I loved them!) and Al Smith and these sisters (I think they are called the White Sisters) that have the most beautiful harmonies. Sometimes I get my fill when they play several in a row of this particular type of singing that I don't enjoy. I know some of you will fall asleep listening to it, but some of you will love it as much as I do. They have good teaching on there too. I'm listening to the unmistakable voice of J. Vernon McGee right now.

(I hated the sound of his voice
when I was a kid and my parents
would listen to him---it amuses me now)

At 3pm (central) each week day they have a kids program that my children love that's done by this old couple who must be 400 years old. They call themselves The Captain and Sparkle; the program is called The Captains Club and it includes a chapter from The Sugar Creek Gang and then a story from The Children's Bible Hour. I love that my kids have somewhere to hear Uncle Charlie---he's timeless. If we are out and about, they get to listen to it because it's easy to pick up the station in the cars. It's in our house that it takes a miracle to tune in that station and keep in tuned in for any length of time. But check this out if you want some "old fashioned" encouragement. I love hearing songs, the exact recordings, that I haven't heard since I was a small child. It's good stuff. Makes for a peaceful atmosphere too. Check it out. You can listen on line or find a station near you that will, hopefully, tune in better at your house than it does at mine!


And now, dear reader, I must bring a little joy into your day. I must subject you once again to our friend in the Explorer.....your security guard and mine.....Yes, you knew you hadn't seen the last of him! Here for you listening pleasure........



I like how near the end he couldn't decide if he wanted to continue singing lead or switch to back up. Well, this was the softer side of our Auto Crooner. Top button unbuttoned this time. I felt like he was going to ask for a tissue at any minute. And you are right about the eye contact. It is a bit scary. You do kind of feel like he can see you.

Maybe he can.

Maybe he's watching me right now.

Recap

I have just had a lovely, pleasant spring day. That's my take on it as it's bedtime and I'm looking back behind me. I've got to be brief here. Let me review:

Went to the doctor this morning. Was told I have a very charming and cooperative set of kidneys and a bladder that's equally amiable. Let's hear it for my organs. And my doctor wants me to have to take a pill for the rest of my life. We'll see about that.

Had some time alone before picking up the kids. That's probably why the day seems so lovely as I look back at it. I have spoke to you about this before. You know how having some time of solitude is like winds in my sails. Ahhhhhh.

Tried to make pasta carbonera for supper. It was okay. I'll look for a better recipe later. This one came from a Weight Watcher's magazine I saw at a doctor's office. You used to be able to buy the little envelop from Knorr to make that and we loved it. This has been years ago---but why does Knorr want to alter their stuff from time to time? Like not printing the recipe for the Spinach dip on the back of their vegetable soup where it belongs? I have seen women stroke out in the grocery store when that recipe is not on the back of that box. What's the deal, Knorr? Work with us, here, please!

I haven't had the time yet, but I guess I'm going to have to send some kind of death threat or something to Rachel Ray. (Am I even spelling her name right?) I made her stupid cheesecake for Sunday because I couldn't find the recipe for the lovely one I'd made the last two times. OH MY GOODNESS. If you are getting up right now to go make a cheesecake by Rachel Ray's recipe, don't bother. Your time would be much better spent doing ANYTHING ELSE.

Watched Big E at ball practice tonight just hitting those balls all over the place. I was surprised by his swing too. It seemed so strong and purposeful. This is my little baby boy. What's he doing turning into an athlete? How odd.

Watched a rainstorm parade in while Lloyd Dobbler was on the tractor making further efforts to grow grass around our house. Poor Lloyd Dobbler. Perhaps we could make some out of green construction paper. He's so upset.

Saw the most beautiful rainbow I have ever seen in my life. Boldest colors. Most vivid. Just amazing. The kids were enchanted.

Cleaned out three drawers in the butler's pantry (no, we have no butler---that's the name of that little area from the blue prints and we just got stuck calling it that----but if you'd like to be our butler, come right on over! You'd have your own pantry.). Hooray for me. That's something I need to be doing every day. Every single day. (not those three drawers over and over---but other places in the house)

Got to talk to this lovely lady I hadn't seen in ages at the doctor's office. She had her tenth child since I last saw her. Tenth. And she's all clothed and in her right mind. She is the sweetest thing. Her husband is the nicest guy too. He's a pharmacist but also a little bit of a redneck. How's that for a combination? They are a cute couple. Great family. It was so nice to get to talk to her for a while.

I'm going to bed. I hope to wake up in the same frame of mind tomorrow. Happy, peaceful, content, with a Casting Crown's song playing over and over and over in my head.

Goodnight, dear reader.

I hope you had a lovely Easter weekend.
The verses I always think of most on this special Sunday say:

Death,
where is your victory?
Grave,
where is your sting?...
Thanks be to God
who gives us the victory
through our Lord, Jesus Christ.

Good Friday was a horrible day for some people in my general neck of the woods. A tornado ripped through College Town, killed a few people, destroyed many houses. We even spent a few minutes in our basement here. What a string of storms that was that went through. What perspective on life some have now. Why does it take something like that to make people realize that the accumulation of things does not equal happiness? Why do we put so much importance on material things? Why do we lay up treasures here and forget about laying in store treasures that will last forever?

I'm feeling better, by the way. Thanks for asking about me, you lovely people. I'm off to the doctor tomorrow for results from the 473 test that I have had done on me recently. I'll be sure to hop right on her tomorrow and let you know if I have just hours to live or something. I'm not expecting the hammer to fall.


In other news, we have chickens now. Five of them. We have collected two eggs so far and they have hardly been here 24 hours. Lloyd Dobbler is so happy to have these feathered friends with us. The kids are excited too. I have to say, I never thought I would own a chicken. Never planned to. I'm not exactly opposed to it, but it was never on my list of plans and dreams for my life. When I told my brothers about it today, one of them actually said, "I always wanted chickens." And then the rest of the family was like, "Oh, yes, you did. I remember that." They all remembered my brother's poultry dreams. I found this odd.
Do many people dream of having chickens?
Do people sit around thinking "I wish I had some chickens" ?

Today was a lovely day.
We went to church took part in a wonderful worship service, singing songs of praise and celebration that
Jesus Christ conquered death.
We spent the rest of the day with family. We went to my parents house. My entire immediate family was there. We were joined today by my favorite aunt and her husband and one of her sons.
(I would call her my favorite aunt
even if she wasn't reading
this blog---I have always
called her that, as far
back as I can remember)
I was so excited that they came. We just love them and they are so much fun.
I am the only one with children at this stage in our lives so I feel like my little family always brings the insanity to any type of get-together. Everyone else is adults. But my family is not a boring group. We have fun. We always laugh. Always. We are all loud and joking and talking over each other. And we aren't even Italian.
I love my family.

My mom had me doing yoga and balance tests and stuff of this nature on her wii fitness thing this afternoon. That was neat. I would like to have one of those. I'll add that to my list of things that I would like to purchase. The bottom of the list. I used to never have a running list of things like that. But I do right now. There are really only three things on it. And you know what the third item is.

I wore the highest heels I have ever worn in my life today.
I got some money from some stuff I sent to the resale shop, so while I was scrambling around numerous stores to find some church clothes for my Superbaby yesterday, I used that money to buy myself a new dress and a matching pair of shoes. I never do that so it was kind of fun. And I'm soooo not a shoe person. But I just found this pair of shoes that I loved and I bought them. And I wore them today. I guess the heels are like three inches or so. I really liked them. I don't know if you know this or not, but I don't wear high heels around the house a lot. I don't get up and get totally dressed and fixed and made up every day. I used to. I remember leaving the house every day. That seems like another lifetime ago.

I don't know if you know this or not either---and I certainly hope you figured it out on your own,dear reader, but those lovely shoes pictured are NOT the shoes I bought yesterday and wore today.
Just so you know.

Lord Jesus, who would think that I am thine?

Ah, who would think

Who sees me ready to turn back or sink,

That Thou art mine?

I cannot hold Thee fast tho' Thou art mine:

Hold Thou me fast,

So earth shall know at last and heaven at last

That I am Thine.

Christina G. Rossetti

This morning I was reading to the kids at breakfast
and I was so touched by part of the scripture that we read.
It was where Peter was so sure he'd never deny Christ.
"To jail! Or even to death!" he pledged,
so confident in himself.
And then later, when he had denied Christ the third time,
Jesus looked at him.
That's the part that always gets me.
Do you ever think about that?
These two men were friends. They loved each other.

I pointed out to my kids that Jesus, as a man, would have surely loved to have had His friend Peter out there encouraging Him, supporting Him. "I'm still here, Jesus!" he could have called, "I'll stand with you. You are obeying God! Stay the course!" But no one remained. Everyone else ran away and the one who stayed, cursed and denied that he even knew Him.
His friend betrayed Him. Their eyes met. That had to be the moment that Peter never forgot. I know that Jesus looked at Peter with love.

And that bitter weeping----oh, don't I know
how that must have been. Praise God that I am not the one
responsible for saving me. I could never do it for a minute. I am so sinful, so unworthy.

"Hold thou me fast..." the poet wrote,
and yes, I pray that too.
Hold me fast in that hand
from which I can never be plucked.

I think I'm sick.

That's all.

I just wanted you to know.

I'm debating about going to the doctor to have a strep test done before every medical person on earth evaporates over the holiday weekend. But ever since my second pregnancy, I have a gag reflex that could probably be helpful to NASA in some way. It's that strong. I hate having a strep test. But I feel so bad right now. And I don't want to feel bad all weekend. Or even five minutes longer.

How ironic that as spring comes and the sun shines and trees bud---I get sick. I wasn't sick all winter. Other than this blood pressure/heart mystery. But that's not "sick."

AAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!

Several Thousand Words

You know what a picture is worth----and I've got several of them to share with you. I think I told you that my in-laws were here for a week and a half--

(It was so nice to have so much help.
My MIL is very helpful.
I needed a break when they got here
and she really made my life easier
while they were here.
She did a lot of cleaning.
She made breakfast
which is something I always hate.
She kept the kids so I could go to
doctor's visits by myself.
She even cleaned my carpets.
How's that for being helpful?
She's great.)

...and I used their camera while they were here. So I'll show you a couple of pictures of stuff that happened while they were here----lest you forget, dear reader, what we look like.

We had Big E's first Pinewood Derby with the scouts. Lloyd Dobbler had just taken him to join the scouts about two weeks prior to this.
Here are all the cars from that night:

And here is Big E's Car, the red one.



He was really excited about the race.
He likes anything that has the potential for winning a trophy.


He's not always so happy to be less than first place. We're working on that. At least he has a comforting sister when he's in the depths of despair.


We also started his ball season this past weekend.
Big E is on the same team he was on last year.
(This will be his last year to play mixed softball
and then we have to head over to
the baseball fields make a scary face here.
I dread that because I am always hearing
horror stories about the parents
and the coaches
and the insane competition
in this sport for CHILDREN. Sigh.)


His coaches seem very pleased with him
and I am very proud to see him growing
and doing well in many aspects.


Then we had our States Fair for home schoolers. This is the second year they did this, the first year we participated. This is the best picture I have of my two at our display.


We did the state of Alabama and you are seeing Lovely K as Helen Keller and Big E as a Creek Indian with a Dairy Queen hamburger.
I think the Creek Indians
were the first to bring Dairy Queen foods
to the heart of Dixie.


This girl did Hawaii.

I would like to watch Blue Hawaii right now. That's one of my favorite Elvis movies. My very favorite is G.I. Blues. I used to have the cassette soundtrack from Blue Hawaii. I think that's why I know those songs so well.
"Let's go on a moooooon liiiiiiiight swim...."

I just like this next picture.


We did the American Girl Mystery birthday party
last Sunday afternoon. I was pleased with
how that turned out. It was the calmest party we
have ever had. A small group of girls
ages 7 to 12. It was nice.

The girls could dress up like the character
they were assigned. Some of them did.
I think they all had a good time. They enjoyed
figuring out the mystery. Lovely K was especially
lovely that day. I can't believe my little baby girl is
nine years old.


Oh and yes, I must throw in a shot of our
dear Superbaby. Superbaby has been wearing
big boy underwear
all over the place, you will be glad to know.
No accidents.
It's like it finally clicked with him.
That's so nice.




So now we are done with achievement tests.
Whew.
That finished today. It's only Wednesday and this has been the longest week. I am so tired. And I've had this insane sore throat all day. I was going to go visit my cancer-buddy tomorrow and now I'm afraid to do that. I don't want to give her anything. And I never get a sore throat unless I've got something.
Oh well.
I'm going to watch American Idol and then take a nice hot bath once I get these three little piggies in the bed.

But first let me tell you something I have been laughing about all week. Oh man---it was so funny. It may not hit you like it hit me, since I was there and witnessed it, but it was SO FUNNY at the moment.
Sunday morning my cancer-buddy was able to
come to church. One of her sons came with her and
I was so glad to see her. I went over to greet her,
letting them get to their pew first because she needs to sit down ASAP. So she sat down on the pew in front of this sweet old grandmotherly lady. The sweet old grandmotherly lady (who is probably in her late sixties) leaned up and said, "How are you, dear?" Taking a deep breath after she sat down
(because that walk from the car to the pew
is a big ordeal for my sick friend now)
and leaning her head back, my friend said to the elderly lady:
"I feel as old as you."

I just laughed out loud.
I couldn't help it. That was the end of the dear old lady's conversation at that point. She sat back in her pew. Me and the son just laughed. It was great. It was so funny. I love my sick friend. She laughed too and said, "Things just come out of my mouth now." She is such a bright light. Her suffering has not been in vain. She has taught many of us lessons about life that she'll never know the extent of. She has shown people the reality of being comforted and strengthened and sustained by Jesus Christ.
I just love her.

Okay. I'm done.
You kind of got the thousand words and the pictures too.
Hope you didn't mind.